Not in any Way Shape or Form

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writing essays about abstraction is really tiring

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i took this same photo two weeks ago on 81st street and now

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well now i guess those little STIGMA STYLE and OVARY are either pollenated or no and either about to burst into a big green belly or no

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i love the Dana Schutz painting but did she just… paint that painting on a door
did someone else paint it
it is cropped really weird
what is happening

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i like this little kerfuffle
looks like JA and DINK are buddies huh

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i like when NYC graffities itself

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I got contact lenses again finally after a month of glasses slipping down my nose
i wish someone woudl just tell me which is cuter and i woudl just do that because i have no personal preference

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the cardboard is alive!
no its not

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checked out a Alec Martin and Cole Mohr show

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I forgot the third guys name i apologize

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look familiar huh?

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haha hope not too familiar

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not tryign to out anybody

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speaking of which i gotta send in my recs for the Out 100 this year, i asked my two out employees and they didnt have any suggestions. do you?
what gaylord do you wanna see in print?

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going to Dartmouth I had more than I wanted of “the man in the mountain” you know that thing?
some rock that looks like a profile in new hampshire

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I visited the two artists we will be takin to Switzerland next month and there are so many fun surprises to come
we are doing a sparse and conceptual booth this year, not a second hand shop, and im nervous
considering how much you pay per foot for wall in a goddam art fair, my natural impulse is of course to have as much and as expensive art covering as many of those feet as possible at all times

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but as you may remember from Frieze
a curated booth is much appreciated….

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I just wanna work on my essay and be left alone but I have been in gallery every day for like months and shoudl probably spend tomorrow in a cafe pulling my hairs out hunched over a laptop no?

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crumpled in a corner cafe
havent done that in a while!

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I walked by Maccarone as it is a block from Holton to see the Alex Hubbard show

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I bumped into one of Nick’s Chicago friends who works there

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and then into the big noodle herself

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I was all pent up with stuff and I might have unbuttoned myself a bit too fully but it was nice

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she told me lots of interesting things too, we complained about how hard it is to make big picture decisions when the market has gotten so crazy that it has no patterns and structure and erratically evades anticipation

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i told her every day i try to sell just one thing, even if a book or a cigarette to a bum, and she said every day she tries to not eat cookies
its a metaphor

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because both of us agreed that we cant just leave it at “follow your gut”
because we are not froofy idealistic hippies

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saw ASAP Rocky playing basketball when going to the F train

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you guys wont like this but boy i am really going to like this
which is fine because you can click the red button but i am stuck with myself forever

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i have been really interested in vintage occupations
like jobs that dont exist anymore
and made you a nice rhyming list of them

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what the hell is a Hellier?

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Slabber and Slubber
a Legger and Lagger and even a Puddler!

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Kiddier, Codder, a Beamer a Needler
a buddling Buddler

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Slubber and Rubbler
Tubber a Gabler a Snobber and what ever’s a Jobber

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Jiggerman Hoggard and Higgler
Hedger Flogger a Badger Cadger a Verger a Clogger

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and three strange ones
an Eggler a Mangler and Faggeter

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a Tinner a Conner, a Troner and Spooner
the Ashman and Flasher, the Fletcher and Tosher
“the Finisher”

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what is a Raffman
a Doffer a Duffer or a Whiffler?

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Gelder, Felder, Beadle, Candler, Chandler
what about a Chandelier?

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a Culver keeps pigeons
a Delver a Felder, the Gabeler and the Fowler

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ask not for whom the Knoller knolls
Fuller, Melder, Moulder, Burler, Pelterer, Tabler, and Sutler

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Wetter haha a Trotter, Lattener, Batman, Canter, Caster, Danter, Tinctor and “the Factor”
which i assume relates to Le Facteur in french?

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a gaunt Gaunter, a Henter, we all know a Vintner, but Laster or Ostler or bumbling Botcher?

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Nipper ‘n’ Dipper ‘n’ Dripper ‘n’ Snapper
Simpler and Slapper

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Tapiter Tipper
Ripper Chippy Cropper Crimper!

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Gummer and Lumper oh I love that
a Sumpter, a Scrimer

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you dont mind that i am being silly amidst the install shots do you

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my brain is so exhausted from pondering ABSTRACTION for the essay for the book that I just want to list odd jobs

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Tinkers and Fakers, Hackers and Jerkers

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that sounds so contemporary

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Clicker or Crocker, Keeker or Stoker

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maybe i will write a list of new jobs that didnt exist back then

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in rhyming couplets of course
next time

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the Crowner the Drowner

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the Dowser and Bowdler and Floater

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what is an Eyer and wish there were still Criers
the Cooper and Groover and Clouter

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Chorister Borreler
Agister Ensign

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Bartleby was a Scrivener i dont know anyone who was a Salter but i suppose there are those who still salt

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Ceiler, Brazier, Grazier, Sizer
Tozer and Damster, Gorzeman and Burgess and Dustman

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Mercer and Pessoner
Spurrier, Scullion
Quiller and Brailler

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and my favourite
“the kisser”
A person who made cuishes and high armour

Maneater International

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i told you i ran out of titles

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so that is what it says on this check on my desk

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it’s aurel’s company hahaha

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jesper sold one of her artworks outta my show there at V1 way back when and we r just waiting
to feed maneater international their just desserts i guess you could say!

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man it reminds me i need to hang around aurel more

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i really could use some good old female empowerment

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i am used to wearing the pants and i have felt recently like i am wearing instead a frilly lace pink tutu

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as in

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which is what i assume would be the opposite of pants wearing

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maybe i should try wearing neither pants nor skirt for a while and see how that goes

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actually i have been dressing like this lately
dont worry, i have no urge to look attractive
so we are all on the same page with that

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this is in CUTLOG
a fair we forgot to promote fully!

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oh fuck maybe this is why

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no but the fair is in this big building on the LES
suffolk and rivington
and has some really interesting things in it and we DO want everyone to go!

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joe took this where was he oh yeah in Mile End actually!

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where am i now
oh ok we are totally cruising now
on the way to Frieze opening day

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Asger checking out the Ryans
havent we seen these before?
i thought i had seen them before

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some definitely i had not seen

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man this Theaster Gates woudl have killed it in our Xstraction show
shoulda asked after it damn!

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Rashid I actually did invite to be in the show but the survey says

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honking is MY greatest pleasure!!!!
just ask Nick or Patrick or whoever

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The Nicolai Wallner booth
entertaining me with Shrigley since 2006!

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don’t fret
i took a photo of as many as i had time for

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right in the balls

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i kept thinking this was Anna Sew Hoy
but it is Amanda Ross Ho
man you think my job is easy????

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i have to keep shit like that straight
i forgot who made this actually

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this is an easy one!

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this was perplexing

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i know i know
that kinda “any club that woudl want me as a member” line

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but dammit i could have blown most of this shit outta the water!

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or “off the island” or whatever

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walking around with Peter as Asger was super fun Peter tells a LOT of jokes

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shit you cant see the painting sorry guys

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Keltie and Chris
I guess we are in the M I and Nash booth

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hey hey a friendly face!

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ooh and my first “job” or whatever
intern at Whitney working on the Joan Mitchell retrospective

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this must be Salon 94

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i walked by too fast i should have looked at this longer it looks neat

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and i shoulda taken photo of the label cuz i forgot who made this!

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haha lots of photos of lonely ladies texting
what do people think now when they look at this?

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i think

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because my brain is MUSH right now but maybe your brains are more firm

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i think
“sam falls”?

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and Mark FLood!

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who won “best dinner guest” at our last gallery dinner!

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this was a curated booth
whose efforts were appreciated

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what is that thing

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one sec

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see it?
it is a sculpture
of a girl, looking for cell phone privacy or what?

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yay simon evans!

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i tried to get details but its really hard you gotta see his works in person

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this one was i think about the world that is caused by drug addition

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man i could get titles for a year with just this detail shot

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Daniel Arsham

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really neat
Nadim, does he fit into your FORENSIC show???

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last snaps as they shoo us out

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and tape off their precious floors

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i wanted to go back to my idea of wearing a skirt and feeling powerless

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its not about, a swath of fabric that separates the legs

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more about the dogged tenacity of sexual stereotyping

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the lack of enough words to get away from it entirely

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the slippery slope of powerlessness

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because of course you dont lose it all at once, you lose it more like a COTANGENT graph

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as in, slow at first and then a rapidly increasing negative assymtote

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man school was JUST long enough ago that i forgot how to spell ASS IN TOTE

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this is a bug not art and i guess i will just then spell it ASS IN TOTE

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i felt pretty in control of myself and a situation for the past many months even up to just a few months ago shit maybe even a few weeks ago

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when all of a sudden i rapidly slipped down the sea-weedy rock of feelings into the stagnant pool of dependance and neediness

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i can’t UGH not care and the more i try to UGH not care the more i slip down down down

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the more i think about the slipping the more i slip

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the more i ignore it the more i slip, too

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there is no path for me to get back on top of this rock and let the
rock know who is fucking boss and that it can’t toy with my feelings

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which is why i need to buy some stock in Maneater International

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and take some sort of power back over what is going on in my life

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whoever cares less wins
that is sadly how the world works
and i am thinking of ways to make myself not care

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it’s like “being cool”
because being cool really means not caring what others think
and so if you WANT to be cool, you are already REALLY NOT COOL

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it is just a wee logic puzzle it is not super complex, it is just some Ps and Qs and stuff

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once i figure it out I PROMISE to let you guys know

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many ferries later we were allowed to leave the island

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i havent seen enough episodes of LOST to make a LOST joke

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or ANY episodes of any reality TV show where like, batchelorettes have to leave an island
is that how it goes?

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this batchelorette is excited to leave her island
no batchelorette is an island afterall

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stopped in with Asger at the JADE hotel a new hotel we did the art for

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then i guess this looks like the standard?
after destroying ourselves the night before at le baron neither of us felt like drinking anything at all

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i think i drank so much that night that i made myself sick this whole like last four days to be honest i have felt totally ill for days

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im not like making a joke or speaking in some sort of code or even necessarily tying this back into the theme of powerlessness, i really want to start drinking way less and mean to do it

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it cant be any harder than giving up drugs
can it?

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because giving up drugs but then letting yourself get as blackout drunk as you want at all times is not a real solution to life’s problems

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as Joe has told me many a time

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and now that i have the whole drug thing down i think i can maybe take baby steps towards the drinkign thing

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i am pretty sick of waking up and being like “oh. look what happened”

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and i am mostly referring to bad tweets not casual sex or violence or anything really bad

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one reason it has been hard to identify as a problem is because it has never caused me a big problem
just lots of little ones for a really really long time

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this is getting too heavy

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I’m going to have one cocktail and start solving my little power puzzle and keep you posted


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oops ran outta titles

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too many posts and my current dog-eared Wodehouse left at home

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who coulda provided us with some bon mots

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this made me think of sharks

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now i get to sleep here just like old times!

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now I have to go
and find where the images of Matthew’s awesome show went

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ok i figured it out i think

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they just uploaded wrong cuz had same filename as opening photos here oddly enough

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they just put the final spire on this guy i heard!

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somethign going on up on top of me too

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this is old news
but to me still pretty fun

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how “the magic happens”

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also how the magic happens!

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also how the magic happens!

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man! lots of magic today

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shit now i lost the photos ag photo IMG_1838_zps58bc1019.jpg
shit now i lost the photos again!!

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talking about upgradin to an iphone i also need to upgrade to some sort of stable and easy and sustainable bloging situation i cant hunt through photobucket for lost photos out of order naymore

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and porbably need to learn where the spellcheck button is too

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ooh there it is! see not so hard

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dressed like a girl but nobody cared so i changed in the car halfway

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the reason the photos were so hard to find

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is cuz i only had a chance to take a few before the people showed up

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matthew stone and shepard fairey!

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typed out their full names for the google alert 🙂

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the exhibition is up at Subliminal Projects for a few more weeks

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you guys should go check it out it is a super interesting show in a cool space in Echo Park or Silverlake or somewhere cool

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the lady who runs the hotel was super nice and gave us croissants and we talked about Jeffrey

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unfortunately didnt SEE jeffrey as he was home writing on the one day i had to move about freely

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and as a writer person who can never make time to write i wanted to respect his privvacy

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i love these flowers and i didnt know they came in this color and i am really happy in this photo
even if i look a little pinched

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i gues those were the last few randos

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i swear only one more post maybe and then we can all go to sleep

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i have a back ache something fierce and think i will have to lie down like an old person for a few hours

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if only i had someone to play tennis with i would stop aging rapidly i am sure of it

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i need to run and hit stuff and sweat i feel so

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i want to feel Xhausted
for a real reason not just staring at a computer screen

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hum hum hum what else

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a few more art things

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ayan farah

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the show kinda started with her actually!

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wyatt kahn
the last piece secured!

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i think this is where davina semo get’s her X from actually!

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ooh! this actually was the last piece secured
just hung the new Chris JOhanson!

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these remind me of the show that just closed at the moma
gotta track that book down somewhere
probably should check
the moma

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truded and extruded

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this Cory piece i thought was a refreshing and obtuse addition to show, really happy with this piece

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love the Dianna MOlzan like crazy too

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ew i just think i accidentally smoked some cigarette filter

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need to watch what the fuck i am doing over here

so there is one last one and it will just be NYC art fairs so dont worry
just a million photos of
art fairs
actually that does worry me

Ursus major

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ah fuck these are out of order

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oh and his shirt said MR COOL and you cant see it but i did

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watching planes fly over the In ‘N’ Out by LAX

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i get to sleep here??

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ugh the Shangri La hotel in Santa Monica is awesome

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yay the Matthew Stone opening!

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where did the opening go

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this is clearly the messy secret rave hours and hours later

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where Total Freedom appeared and we were psyched

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fuck i am all turned around

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i guess we just gotta take it as it comes!

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this is certainly the awesome URS FISCHER show at MOCA

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if Jeffrey keeps doing shows like this everyone will just be too embarrassed to keep harrassing him

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i am sure they feel stupid already tho so i shouldnt rub it in

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oh man this piece

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so good

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not dying about these three tho

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but the show overall

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it made me want to step up my game here

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which is great because Matthew was there and feeling the same thing as me

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lets just all

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break down some more barriers

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not be afraid to crack a few eggs

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and take it up a fucking notch already

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some people have accused me of being stuck in jeffrey’s shadow

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or somehow not being totally free yet to be me

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i dunno

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i dont think that is my problem exactly

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just that I have been oddly playing it a bit safe

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we cant afford literally to make a bad move

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but if we tread too cautiously we will never get where we wanna go

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so maybe then we will try to get even more free

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and start charging more for it hahaha!

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these are just some shots of the perm colleciton

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“you see what he did there”?

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then we wanted to look at show AGAIN

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then we wanted to have the best food ever in their cafe LEMONADE

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i had wine instead
this is the across the street

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this is down the street where the show… CONTINUES!

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man i will just hafta post it here and you just have to wait long time for loading it

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sorry again
we cant fool around we have like four more posts of photos

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this will help splain you

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The Broom of the System

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are those little jeffrey heads?

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if i weren’t in such a hurry i would write a bit about why
and i wanted you guys to just see them first

Bower Bird

we are super behind
i apologize team

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and i worry that maybe there is some reason for my lack of burning urge to blog

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my interest in blog is fragile and has been wavering and daydreaming of instagram instead

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i just really dont want to buy an iphone

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when i was in high school i interned for Senator Bingaman the chair of the joint economic committee

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and I worked (ha!) on the Microsoft anti-trust case that was big what in the late 90s i am old

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and now fucking Apple is being the biggest dick of them all

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and i find myself on team microsoft at least for the nonce

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i am just so annoyed to like be forced to purchase something

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and everyone wants to be popular lets admit that

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oh so much is going on here how can i make this go faster

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look at this amazing puddles everywhere

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hole-y crap

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installing these shows was really hard and really fun lets look at the opening photos

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paul and leo!
helped me make show awesome

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our lighting guy nico makes our dinners look awesome

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look at our funny hanging wall

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do you know what a “bijoux residence” is? i love that phrase

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wendy white!

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i think Anita had my camera set on “night photo” or something?

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this awesome work is at framers!

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look at my cool lawyer! he is awesome

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Tim is in show!

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tethered to her iphone see what i mean??

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ethan cook and his piece

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devin and peace

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bro down

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thomas ovlisen manhandling

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francesca gavin!

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andrew sutherland in show too

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whoever brings that cute bulldog to our openings
is welcome back anytime!

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oh brother

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now we have at least covered the opening
hope you could see some cool abstraction behind all those ugly people haha!
just kidding you are all beautiful