Month: December 2011

my sense of extreme luckiness, my awareness of the bounteous gifts fate or my loving family have bestowed on me is severe
i am aware that i have had everything, almost, given to me to support me to become the person i want to be and the level of success i want to achieve

this awareness, and the Sidwell Friends experience from age 4 to 18 of service, the repeated indoctrination that we Sidwellians were these chosen kids who had everything awesome and it was our duty to help others less fortunate at all times,

this leads to the development of the rare adult female “Total Sucker”

the “Total Sucker” lives in the harsh habitats and has weird colored hair

she is dubbed a “Total Sucker” for how easy this species is to take advantage of but may also be listed as “Easy Target” because of her easy capture and as a generic “Patsy” when she occasionally pulls her head slightly out of her ass

she is a lone species who does not aggregate in groups except to mate

she can take on characteristics of the other gender as needed for safety or advantageous habitat

sigh!

i used to be a real marine bio nerd in highschool / college

i went on a two week trip along the whole coast of California lurking around tidepools looking for the elusive “Lemon Chiffon Nudibranch”

i was often so hungry and sleepy and cold that i would make up other kinds of Nudibranch that i would vainly search for

such as the Big Mac Nudibranch
or the French Fried Nudibranch

the Lemon Chiffon Nudibranch proved elusive

this was my favourite tank

for my college essay i wrote a four page poem about my hunt for the Nudibranch from the perspective of the Nudibranch
in Elizabethan English, and iambic pentameter

i wish i had a copy of that poem somewhere

maybe i will find my lost shellless mollusk when i go to Tullum tomorrow

this was my environmental protestor brother’s favourite tank

a penumbral nautilus

this fish have evolved to have no eyes from living in caves

this fish has evolved to eat salad

oh no!

i really hope i dont see any of these guys in Tulum

fuck how fucking scary are these fuckers

i saw these in Jamaica, my brother almost tramped on one
then we saw this jamaican dude who was swimming reach down and grab a Barracuda that had swum by!

these fancy fuckers can kill you too!
death by carnival
ok get me outta here

this sign reminds sailors they can only be caught smoking weed eleven times

sigh!
my hair still makes Kool-Aid when i shower

sigh!

bag full of snacks on way to see Sherlock Holmes movie

cheesy action movies with soft literary patinas can be great

something about the character’s extreme encyclopedic knowledge mania actually inspired my newly-turning-back-on brain to start learning things again

is that foolish?

we went to JCPenny for family portraits

these are my outtakes

the real ones turned out hilarious

i will bore you with them next post!

sigh!

bethesda

bloated wet cat food

here are a million photos of sunset as i was leaving

and im crying
what is wrong with me

i can’t deal with how old my parents are
i can’t deal with what a horrible daughter i am

in private mainly

i just dont deserve … i dont know

oh thank god the last photo is not something depressing

i was having a fun wikipedia zone out starting with Manut Bol and ending at the North Pole and the closest inhabited town
Nunavut, Canada

this post promises to get weird

before break i did wayyy too much lying around and had a really rough time getting off the couch so to speak

watching a poisoned rat limping slowly down the sidewalk
proved a poignant metaphor

fun things were happening at the gallery nonetheless

including this fastastic XMAS tree Taylor McKimens made which is now in our shop window

somehow this photo of the BEST eddie martinez swimsuit Grey Area brought to our shop slipped through my cracked-ness

ha ha someone didnt know this was our truck

may got awesome GOD JUL presents from mom!

scary basement

we finally unloaded everything and could return this goddam thing
god help us to buy our own sprinter van in 2012 and stop fucking CC rental bills

this happened
as you guys saw

Roxy works at Cutler now which is awesome
if you want your hair did by her she is amazing, cutler is 212 308 3838 on w broadway

i look like a Hot Rod

ah! the city’s best kept secrets

you’re not gonna get any out of me

because im going home for christmas

i will sleep for 48 hours until christmas starts with “the flu”

bad!

i got a parka for christmas
and my brother got me a bike
a hypothetical, to be picked out in nyc bike
amazing!

finding weird things in the attic

cups for 6
indeed

making food

drinking hot whiskey drinks

christmas dinner not memorable, no appetite, fell immediately “asleep”

fever and chills and fever and chills

we are in baltimore

not quite sure why who cares

egg sandwich

my dad accidentally dropped my contacts down the sink and since i had no extras and left my glasses in london during Frieze (help me Wynd!) i had to go for a fucking $200 eye exam and contact visit

this is why i have no money because of stupid hair-pulling annoying shit like this

i bought new glasses

this restaurant is a ship
everything in Baltimore smells like Old Bay Seasonings

pretty

we didn’t see john waters anywhere

we saw some fun bars

i saw many bloody marys

omg “crab pretzel”

the Baltimore Aquarium

i have no real captions to go with all the fish photos that are about to flow
i probably should begin some random digression, huh?

what can we talk about

that would have a humorous tangential relationship to fish faces

i guess i wanna talk about how pathetic i am

i just sent an ex-boyfriend money

i care about him and his well being so much
i felt he was in immanent danger
what else

i may have a “helping problem”

is it really despicable that the first thing that popped into my head was “omg this would make an amazing shoe”
wait i have to make two posts this is going on too long

happy holidays everyone!
i may not post blog for a bit so enjoy this big old pile slowly

Kembra and EV Day signing their sold Giverny print

Lola and her friend installing

stretching kadar’s new piece

sam moyer and her huge panels

look at this appealing expanse of whiteness!

we have GREY AREA pop up shop in our shop for the holidays check out all this amazing stuff!

eddie martinez pants wow!

APF towelies

hey hey i didnt know about this!

damn my feat of tank tops!
one day
one day

check it out!

and taylor’s amazing tree of course

lola
not afraid to get her hands dirty

🙂

the opening(s)!

i only had a sec to snap a few crowd photos

there are some pretty powerful people in this shot

jonas mekas!

joe grillo!

ha ha!
i thanked courtney for coming and introduced myself as the gallery owner and she said “what’s the gallery called’ and i said “the hole” and she walked away 🙂

lucien hosted some of us the back for a wee dinner

awesome

afterparty at Red Egg

weird

sam moyer is #1 party animal

we had a ton of fun dancing all night i dont know if you can see from the pictures

until the wee hours

may and i spent the whole next day doing absolutely nothing
eating ice cream
watching beverly hills housewives something show

the next night we had a dinner party at May’s

Jules came out!
wow!

it’s not a party until someone puts a lampshade on their head

yay!
we finally got out of the house to go see Maurizio Cattelan at the guggenheim

why do i take photos of this stuff

the craziness of taking your oevre and making a retrospectalier out of it totally trumped the disappointment of seeing some of these works in a non-ideal way

many of these works were never shown in america, just in books

and it would have been cool to experience them as intended

the pope on a huge red carpet with the broken skylight above

or this peeker peekin outta a real floor

but seriously

the meganess of this contraption

the forced cournterclockwise viewing POV

i mean these guys are supposed to be leaned up in a corner side by side so they look like the twin towers, right?

someohow that didnt bother me

retiring from art or not, displaying all these works in this… self-castrating way was really bold and appropriate and challenging and great

it makes great sense that an artist who turned galleryship and art viewing on its head would display his life’s work in a way that made everyone all panties in a bunch

butterface

butterbutt?

this is actually in raymond pettibon’s studio

i wont spill any beans of any kind as i was a guest there

or at least i wont spill any of the art beans there
(there were cool piles of drawings everywhere!)

we made a painting

probably not

ah sad christmas alone for kathy, no fun holiday party invites, totally post partum sad-ish about big shows and big openings, now like everything in the past

im crabby

i am not crabby about this show because it looks amazing

scott reeder

sam moyer

matt jones

matt jones

kadar brock

professional installs of both after the new year!
adios muchachos

pretty

want to touch

visiting with

the artiste

its nice that

kadar is just around the corner too!

i am so excited to see everyone friday

i think that i will have fire hair for this show

like this dude!
this is matthew going back to UK sad dinner

informal arrangements

DO NOT i repeat do not see this movie even if it is jeanette’s birthday

i should have at least brought beers or something
GOD the worst movie ever

visited the studio of our big May exhibition

i dont want to do spoiling so i will restrain myself

but seriously you guys

there is so much amazing shit in store from the hole i wish i could spill the beans

today’s fabiola snack was “cake in a jar”

“despite all my rage i am still just a cake in a jar”

despite all my rage i am still just a hamster in a wok

i look at that vid whenever i get stressed out

look! jon made his first piece of slacker min min
we are so proud

spencer made this cool painting

i am really excited for the upcoming LA art fair in January!

here are some quick snaps of Pablo’s event here

awesome

pablo was one of my first roomates when i moved to NYC

“New Reality”
in our bookshop now!

ooh and finally some shots of the Kembra Phahler Playboy party we threw in miami
from Bijoux Altamirano who was also in the show!
nude photographer!

oh man i wish it were warm enough here to dance naked out by a pool

i feel like i didnt get naked enough in miami this year

not even one night of skinny dipping

i totally blew it

kembra did not blow it
she killed it!

ha ha!

i am so happy
why is everyone so great???

a cry a larme for lost love sometimes

then i drunkenly text them and make everything worse

then i eat pink peppercorn pate with May and feel better

i havent been partying because in Miami the partying was so good because it was for CELEBRATE

party out of boredom is no party at all

May and I checking out Lola works for our forthcoming show

it is big surprise and I’m pretty sure everyone is going to be blown away

then we went to our May exhibition dude’s house in Brooklyn Heights for holiday party

yes!!
the house smelled like pine tree and cloves and warming

and they had a huge bunny

lots of cool weird things around

and the bunny

the bunny’s name was Cornelius

like from Babar
look at this bunny
seriously may has been googling adopt a bunny sites all day

we need a good roasting sized bunny for the gallery

not for roasting though
just for bundling

nick is gone i have nothing to bundle in my arms and squeeze and keep warm

i have strong bundling urges

now we are at a BULLETT magazine release party at some church on Norfolk

it could have been fun rave but like i said, we don’t have anything to celebrate yet

but soon we will

next HOLE opening is Dec 16th, this coming Friday

what else

Jeanette birthday look at all these 20yr olds!

easter basket full of dumplings

whatever this is

ok ok we will sell some more art and do some more celebrating
soon i promise!

just a wee bit more
nicole klagsbrun booth
her gallery rules

misaki love to hate to love!

wendy white you know she is my favourite

yay nicelle!

look at that gallery name oh no

stained maxi pad commercial art

i like to prop and lean
says this piece

ooh sam moyer
really excited for her too here december 16th!!

shit i better get on that

josh smith

joe bradley

ooh sam moyer killing it

hmmm

secret kathy likes it piece but also brain knowing it is not good
the old cuntundrum

meh

ooh michael williams and xylor and accidental lady

kadar brock!
man of the hour
also in our big abstract painting show december 16th man i really should get on that

attack!

eric got us some food thank goodness
at The Stranded as he calls it

OHWOW book party tim barberino!

you know how as an artist you accumulate all this shit and eventually have to root through it going “garbage” … “not garbage” … “garbage” ?

genius
Leo Fitzpatrick

i couldnt get this picture right so had to have eric help me
art shaman!
matthew is not embarrassed when we all call him that

jorge and jon bustin their asses for kembra playboy party
our FOUTH BIG EVENT

ACK which unfortunately you will have to see in my next post tomorrow when i get the photos from bijoux cuz my camera died
THE HORROR!!!!!

next morn got to kayak

if you know kathy then you know this is her favourite activity in the world

after snowboarding
rudby
tennis
and art dealing

yay!

happy kathy

nap shaman

ooh

i know it is very obvious may is a model but as a armchair photographer it is pretty awesome to get to take photos of her

not that i know how to use camera well

but she makes every photo aMAYzing anyway

austrians cooking us food

austrian asian soup
genius

we all made pretty awesome

we had to give ourselves tasks to keep busy at night so we wouldnt just decimate our brains with relentless party so we chose dinner

and also relentless party
where someone forgot to take photos
the best rave i have been to since barcelona
the best em dee em ay since/// always
here is maybe a LINK that will splain more?

hot and cold

billy!
kris’ dog is so cutie

wait

there

awesome

to rejuvenate our seratonin desert brains we went deep sea fishin

can you belive it

these things swim with us

they are mahi mahi

hmm dont know what this is

pretty

omg this fucking thing scared the shit out of us
a remora
the fisher dude stuck to the ceiling

look at its suction head

ok so i tried to hide it but the waves were insane and i spent at least one hour saying “please dont barf” over and over in my head hoping no one but may noticed

bleh!

ok so weird activities are pretty fun

everyone should make sure they get to do normal human things in miami and not just celeb parties
or you will wind up very depressed and empty feeling
take it from me

real things

real time

air no cigarettes

the future!

may andersen making take nice photo so easy

christian’s awesome party shirt

so many sunsets

bloody chum bucket

little lurkers at the doc

this is me making mango salsa for the fish
with star fruit!
amazing!!!!

jorge opted for “the matthew stone”

kathy ate all the potatoes

omg

we are the best cooks ever

we deserved it
fab and may and jorge and jon and laura and kembra and matthew and jack and heather and john and ray and mike and brigid and chris from thunderhorse we all worked so hard, seriously you guys
we pulled off this crazy marathon and we held together and went 4/4 in the playoffs

it may be the bottle of wine i just drank but i’m pretty moved

wake up hangoveries, its time for the actual art fair

yay the booths!
and the twins!!!

dee and ricky are awesome artist twins who helped us out staffing our twin booths
that included two “twin” lola schnabel paintings

wow

awesome

bleh!
we sold this awesome theo rosenblum little ghoul whip

look at him so cute i want to EAT HIM UP

his big bad older brother

may is back in business
the art business

here are some other NADA booths
this is a takeshi murata computer drawing (“howdheedothat”) at ratio3

there wursum cool things in the fair

“this looks like art”

yay! we are excited to show scott reeder works here december 16th!

did jimmy d make this?

ha ha
these were in matt moravec’s west street booth

something cool about them in a … michael williamsy way?

kelley walker art (not actually kelley walker fyi)

fabrizio’s brand new gallery

suzanne! dirty rag art

these were pretty

made with blue print printer

these two too

the booth next to us had an awesome older eddie

dave potes of hamburgler eyes

cynthia rowley and may

taylor arrived last second as per usual! 🙂

two awesome sayre gomez pieces
from random word generated spam poetry in a blog comment

spam poetry so much better than slam poetry

these are the two matthew stone twins

can you guess how he made them?/

they look like fucking frescoes

unbelievably awesome
and one of them is shipping to DC now my hometown

day two

spaced outttttt

workin the booth

hey!
that jules piece is from our deitch show
now it is an edition at half gallery!

that FriendsWithYou one is amazing

then dec 2nd!

matthew stone at mondrian
big party #3

if youre wondering what happend to #2 you should have gone to Gusman for salem neck face and matthew like i warned you
because kathy exhausted herself working booth and couldnt walk by 10pm

i did make it to party #3 tho and here it is

this is a weird photo

aw!

everyone looks so handsome

fuck look at kris
hot

these sculptures turned out amazing

love!

food was incredible sorry this is about to become food blog again

fab charmin the morgans man

this was avocado ice cream with salmon tartare

i am starving i can barely blog

yay some deitch crew came through!
i was really sad that our Salem show was same night as Jeffrey’s Raleigh party because i couldnt go and then pissed jeffrey off probably but it was the only day delano had free and 🙁 i hate pissing anyone off, especially my mentor 🙁

the show must go on tho!
next year we will plan a different art music extravagaanza day

omg

name that hideous sea creature
is it “langoustine”?

kathy
ok wait one sec for more

hey long time no chit chat

i am just back to NYC where i have photoshop

and put some more behinds on art from behind

we are in Tap Tap

back that ass up

oh man her titties look like mangoes

i realize that my friends and i were the butt of this joke

we just want to eat hatian food

cry us a river

omg its so good there i cant look at these right now i am starving

feeed meee

this guy has been on blog so many times
dash loved this guy

ah dash!
miami will never be as fun as when you were there

but we will make this year special nonetheless

i wonder when this was from

from some night out here no doubt

installing NADA easier with pina coladas

jack arrived!

into the water with you!

jack shares my and patrick’s special love of jumping off high things into bodies of water

ha ha they hung ben jones work sideways

we are at tony g- mans wynwood walls expansion

it wasnt quite an expansion in all senses because many murals got painted over 🙁
this used to be Ben Jones

these were jim and ara and clare rojas

hmm hmm hmm

this is a new one
joe grillo

dont know this one

yay the AVAF labyrinth again!
i loved that install
they should keep it open all year so people can get in there

wheres the barry one??

teddy and the new ARA tshirt they made

he plays online backgammon and gets yelled at when he beats people at it
amazing

shop turned out pretty awesome

now we are at the Ferrari party

there we go

guido

three dee car videe o

yum

yay christian is here!!!

best photo of john and jack ever so cute

ok our house is pretty fun

installing art fairs

terrifying

yay for helpers!!

ooh yay for this kadar piece

look at this thing

he takes his old “failed” neon paintings from 2005 and covers them with white and fucks them up and then power sanders and slices them

the effect is sublime

and now there is a waitlist for the sublime
poignant?

so heavy
we vowed to sell it so we wouldnt ever have to carry it again
and we did!

awesome new FriendsWithYou

shocking!

ok so November 30 before fart fair opened we presented SALEM live at Delano

party prep

damn

this shit looks good
and i see olga!
working for OHWOW now good job

now i see london and france

aurel is mesmerized

ah she gets her wish!

magic

post smooch

so maybe you noticed but we found some bodacious dancers to accompany the performance

best $240 the gallery has ever spent

these ladies were so down to be in an art performance instead of a leery strip club or hotel room that they killed it

they were so fucking hot and excited to be there and the music was sick sick sick sick

is this one of them going down on the other one?

oh man

play “better off alone” while you look at this post

is it weird to say the music goes perfect with strippers?
is it weird to say that the juxtaposition robs the stripping part of all its sad grossness and makes it amazing

its hard to explain
you try it at home

hot

this guy and aron are about to throw the best dance party of the fair on dec 4
can you see it is his face
the amazing party he is about to throw?

everyone was so horny from the hot as fuck dancers
no one thought they were better off alone

afterparty was a craze makeout fest at le baron florida room inside
oh boy im really glad that billy farrel photographer didnt catch me

and we made it through nov 30th!