minge binge

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woke up this morning and found a bloody syringe under the linguine in my pantry

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buff buff buff it away
delete delete delete
spray sanitize
bleach
blowtorch

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i told kembra i want my new style to involve wigs to hide under and high collars to hide in

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let’s play “name that art tattoo”!

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just once tho
we have a performance to mount!

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lets see if the photobucket algorithm understands body paint or not!

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this is wall of vagina
an epic performance by kembra that she has not done in new york in over ten years

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she is going for a new GOKB record tonight

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oh boy

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oh boy

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omg omg omg

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holy shit

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the audience was totally silent

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oh no! the topping!

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it’s really gross that kembra calls it the topping

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from her Beautalism book: “The Wall of Vagina was born out of a discussion I had with my band while on tour in the US. We traveled in a Winnebego and always looked through men’s magazines at truck stops. once we bought a Penthouse that showed four girls stacked on top of each other like pancakes, provoking a feeding frenzy from all of us.

Not one, not two, not three…but four girls! I thought it would look sculptural to have a GOKB as a wall of vagina. I did the old turkey-baster-with-plain-yogurt as a topping for the wall. And it provokes a complex reaction from the audience who don’t know whether to applaud or vomit”

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wall of vagina is a very challenging piece
in many ways
as kembra says “it can ruin people’s lives, people have nervous breakdowns”

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success!!!

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a collective “OMG”

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yay!

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the topping applicators

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the limited edition handmade Wall of Vagina book with legendary Bruce La Bruce

check out Bijoux’s photos they are really pro:

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i hope you enjoyed Wall of Vagina

that’s the sound of the pelisse

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my brain is preparing for the Wall of Vagina tonight and has no real thoughts to offer on these photos

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i know, the title is so witty and awesome and then you are just gonna get nothin in the comments

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too bad for you

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but then!
nothing cheers kathy up like sports!!!!!!!

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kathy should remember that next time she wants to slit her wrists

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sushi also great mood enhancer

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makes me feel “optimistic”!

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and this morning

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got to go to secret private viewing of the Alexander McQueen show at the MET!

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the only two photos i could sneak tho are so bad
you cant see how fantastic this show is!
try to go on a secret monday tho because i heard crowds are too crappy

ok ok
you guys have been so nice putting up with my extreme out of love depression and extreme disinterestedness that you will be surprise rewarded with KEMBRA GUEST BLOG. who knew???

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And boobs???
you guys are spoiled

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miami christmas card outtake

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wow remember how cute kembra looked with bangs? and lizzi bougatsos?

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tonight we are doing a secret wall of vagina performance by kembra
i didnt really tell that many people so if you are reading this you can come but don’t tell anyone!

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spencer’s coming!

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this is kembra’s mom (!)

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this is great

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who is this guy again?

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this one i cant see well enough to get
what is in ther?

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there are some pretty extensive cat photos about to happen

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her camera has such great photos on it
yay guest blog!!!!

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omg andrew strasser

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aaron bondaroff
i keep calling him a ron and feel bad because he is aaron
i have to keep in my head saying AARON AARON AARON

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blorp!

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omg this is a pretty interesting group of GOKB

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omg kathy cameo!!!

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omg sewn vagina!!!

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omg bees!!!
fuck i am more afraid of bees than sewn vagina

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fuck this is some crazy cat art

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live cat art

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horse art

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ashley bickerton im guessing!
and scott ewalt

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oh thank god for at least one boner in this post

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yes

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this is for patrick even though for the love of christ why can he not return a fucking email

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maybe my blue period is coming to an end………

hollandaise bolognese polonaise

polo noise!
word jazz

here’s a terse verse:

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gross

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amazing

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effective

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New York City is my favourite slacker minimalist artist

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tagging up the bathroom

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pickle in your pocket

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kembra’s birthday present to elena was: boobs

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this is how much food i got to eat

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this is how blue i feel

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this is what i do, at this point essentially against my will

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wish i was having as much fun as this lady

clinamen and askesis

many poetry scholars have a hard time locating the clinamen

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ooo

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today is sunday so we will just pet dogs and do a birthday party for may

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casual

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fab’s butt is not casual!

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hardly workin

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yay!

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take out looks fancy if you set table fancy

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happy birthday may!
best intern ever!!!!!!

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woo hoo!

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hoo boy!

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tough guys outside SWAT

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tough girls inside SWAT

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we just decided to go back to canal karaoke place cuz we liked it

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jamie is friends with the mullet owner lady so it was extra fun

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i might have spend $200 on tequila shots

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i am ok with that

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🙂

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🙂

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accidentally find drugs in the bathroom?
do not do them! they may be laced with flesh-eating Levamisol
gawker said so

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i think someone else has my camera at this point?

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yup

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yay! that means i get to be in photo yay!

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ha ha someone zoomed in way too close!
yay closeup!

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yay hanna!!!!

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pretty fun birthday indeed
kembra got some rick owens in the mails today

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we got a bathroom today too!
no more peeing on bowery poetry club!!!

i would call that a successful weekend

why was she born so beautiful

why was she born at all?

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one of the darker rugby songs

finger in a dyke!

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my brain kinda went off this morning from painful input and it will be off…for a while methinks
so get used to brain dead blogging

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pain free brain off blogging
this makes me excited tho
kembra and bruce la bruce with their wall of vagina book, so epic

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salt PEE nuts salt PEE nuts

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salt penis salt penis

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please let there be a million more Weiner jokes in the world?
humble request

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please let everything be about penises forever

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a-rons poetry event last night had LOTS of cock happening
sorry my camera was dying so i allotted only one photo each
this is mikey d q

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this is stefan bondell from far away!
his poems were a breath of fresh pussy in the dick parade
whee!
the first one was hilarious

ha ha i can’t believe i just typed “breath of fresh pussy”
amazing
i’m a poet, don’t know it!

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legendary jack walls wow! first time ive heard him read
he read from his book one long megapoem
such an interesting combination of very kind of hum drum phrases and then totally insanely out of left field phrases, very intense
like “it broke into a million little pieces”
and then
“tenacious like a batch of pubic lice”

fuck!!!!!

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got some food at lucien

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jack and jack made this JACKet together
….jack!
how many times can i write jack in this caption

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jack went to Bowdoin but then jack spelled it wrong

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yay!

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jack and terence make great photo couple

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they should do this professionally

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charge bloggers five boners a pop

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i would pay
this would have cost $30 tho

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why were they born so beautiful?

throw things

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summer fun just beginning

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june is the best month

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JA it is

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another fantastic slacker minimalism sculpture

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suzanne gets back from europe today and said the art world has reached maximum capacity for rag art
which makes me really excited!!!

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everyone is getting outfitted in Native Shoes, our sponsor for the FriendsWithYou show
this is Linda art critic par exellence

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yay!

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she took our picture too

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i hope every show the artists find a cool way to deal with this dumb poles

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pretty excited

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this space turned out awesome, we were all freaking out because we didnt have time to paint the floor and they hung the lights too low and one wall needed more sanding but its cool like this!

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i love happy accidents

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baby bunny revenge on may

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ooh!
now we are in the Fab Five Freddy show down the street

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Laura O’Reily from gallery 151 did this

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kristy leibowitz worked on these

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more Native Shoes!

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Jeffrey wrote their intro!

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haha yay jeffrey!

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yay Laura!
Bowery Girls!!!

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another space next door

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please i woudl like to own this printer

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what else?
i think this is the night where we got determinedly wasted
as opposed to other nights where it is merely incidental

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if ASS is rockin, don’t come a knockin!

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bumped into these guys

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the jacks are friends now

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special friends

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i like this casual “i got a new tattoo” pose

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whee!
we are at a funny karaoke place

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i like alek wek she is cool

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this dance move is pretty good too

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ha ha!

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alek’s dog Little Bit

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more girls

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more dogs!
this one is Boeuf

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art from behind
yes!!!!!
i have been waiting for more butts since nick butt is gone and horay!!!!!

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yesterday

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Stefan took us to Quarto

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there are so many good restaurants within a block of the gallery damn

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i want to eat at all of them every day

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house pasta avocados cherry tomatoes

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the pestoest lasagne ever

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need to wash that down with a few gallons

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stefan sent me these old photos
yay!

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look at me and nikki!
amazing

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got this awesome hand-painted Kenny Scharf bong in the shop today
i am assured it is fully functional
come hang out with me and i will let you test it out!

shinnecock and tuckahoe

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bleh!
lets take a quick break and recharge our batteries

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my brother bought me steak dinner to celebrate me
“i’ve arrived”!!!

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then we got wasted!
“i’ve arrived”!

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then we went to Montauk!
kembra had to pee and was like “just dont take me somewhere creepy”
so i pulled over at this abandoned mental hospital

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had the best barbecue everrr

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fabiola’s house was amazzzzing

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we went to funny surf hotel

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shit
let me at you, smileys
let me at you, picture!!!

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i havent said the word “the teen” in a while

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look at this place

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i made savoury watermelon salad with mint and feta and

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may made really yummy beet salad

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jorge made cheezy dick

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kembra got me a boyfriend

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he is still growing

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slacker min min

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in retrospect all we did is buy groceries cook and eat

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watermelon mint vodkas

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i made sweet po fries!!!

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they were so good!!!!!

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fabiola made the fanciest little caviar egg bundles the best

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i gave the toast
i look embarrassed?
i was not embarrassed
i was SO HAPPY PROUD of the FriendsWIthYou
and I told them

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yay!

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jack gave us all photo face coaching

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these guys need no help

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excellent

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serious face

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cute

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too many photos
not enough beach

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it got dark really fast

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yay!

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somewhere in this photo is may and jack naked

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oops we got our clothes
may and i are on mushrooms
jack just crazy

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cute

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whee!
may and i just giggled for…6hours straight!

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i like these spooky camera faces

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this blew my mush mind
as you can probably imagine

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so did these

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i think cameron took photos of fab in the tub?? for the magazine??

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fabulous
jen put lipstick on me and made me so happy!!!!

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there’s cameron!

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scraped chin on bottom of pool
think it makes me look tough!

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fabiola also trying to get me new boyfriend

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i just wanna bury my head in the sand

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monday was sunny

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i love this

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i liberated him

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more on this thing in a second

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remember the schnabel’s pool from terence thing before?

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awesome

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awww patrick

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the story behind this kathy painting is really interesting. i love the kathy painting

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omg we ate the best food ever then

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stella and arden took us to tucked away lobster deck only cool locals know

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the best

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fuck yeah!!

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can you just picture how relaxed i feel now

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imperterbbably relaxed

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yay i got it!

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why is this skinhead terrorizing john

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on the drive home i stopped at a petting zoo

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i asked for one for my 30th birthday and i finally got it!

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this sheep would make great accessory for jeanette right now

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why is this juvenile delinquent terrorizing this lamb

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john and jorge think everything is romantic and want to kiss
goat poo, aww lets kiss!

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cow pee, lets kiss!

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jack kept calling this one patrik sandberg

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these are strange bedfellows

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butts up! i love this photo

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these guys should have been in salem video theo just did

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guine piggies!!!!

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piggies

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how many bunnies in this photo

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oh nooooooooo

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nooooooo

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two buns and a boob

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DYING

ok i gotta go there is a lot more photo to have to go eat though i drank one thousand drinks last night and will barf if i dont eat some kind of antidote

fruitiō!

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you guys

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the package has arrived

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the goods are on display

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the recruits have been drilled

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all bases have been covered

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the shirts have come off

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the recruits assembled

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all holes filled

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the tweets have left the building

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the roof raised

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the color palette laid

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the surfaces sealed

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the carpet rolled out

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the sky opened up!

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then the doors!!!!!!!

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i couldn’t take photos of the hordes and hordes and mayhem so you just get a few from me

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fab 5

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ha ha evan

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WE HAVE ACHIEVED GALLERY

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this is our gallery

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these are the people we will hang out with

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these are two of our staff!

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ha ha

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these are our new FriendsWithYou

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we will party

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you can join us

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there is so much to do

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two eyes trained on the work ahead!!!!!!

intactivism!

i want to show you my recent life intact and uncut

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but i can’t its too…

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its TOO!

i came home to a box of reeboks!

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Joe is gonna alien daycare the shit out of this Barney’s window

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jeremy kost likes this artist
and she is going to show at Jeanne Greenberg i just heard!

i call her “matisse x jaimie warren”

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PEEP if you like baby birds born in poles!

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PAINT if you like new galleries!

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SWEEP if you like to paint the floor tonight

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i cant even let you PEEP at teh gallery yet, we open THURSDAY tho so come
you can peep this real fast tho

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snacks

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FriendsWithYou RAINBOW CITY by AOL over on the hgihline!

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babes on the highline

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dont worry

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i have TONS of photos of girls today

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everyone loves girls
who doesn’t love girls?

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i love them!

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sluts and shrooms

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how fun is this installation?
opens to the public in 2 days?

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Up all summer, tell Kid America

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Tell hot sauce!

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Sam and Tury, taking over New York soon, seriously

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theyre going to be all over town

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they’re going to be in the hole

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thursday!!!!

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i hope you guys are excited

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its dream come true time

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scissor sisters

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party was pretty awesome

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turi’s wife!

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i like how eric thinks this is how lesbians have sex

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this photo is for jack!

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you get the idea
eric is guest blogging this party and has his own “vision”

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ha ha!

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may took my portrait a few nights ago
i said no!
but no one takes no for an answer

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i’ve been eating the saddest dinners without nick

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we dont have a bathroom yet so i have to be in Think Coffee and its gross there HELLO

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kembra took me to 3as4

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awesome

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wow

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double stradivarious wow

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haha i spelled that wrong and im too drunk to care

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awesome

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queen kitty

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i sneezed my head off and got an awesome dress for our opening
its ALL HOLES

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yay!!!

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thanks gabi!!!!

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bumped into Kenny Scharf on the street

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basking in the glow of JUST having painting this!

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BEST

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yay!

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this is not Vanessa Beecroft this is
something at Jeanne Greenberg
“performance art”

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kembra is not a “performance artist”
she is way too cool for that