Month: April 2011

my brain is bootlegging itself

my brain….
always needs to have a task
or else it makes blog titles like the above

my brain is a stray dog

after huge projects that were huge amounts of work actually open, my brain goes bonkers

it sprays and flails like an untended hose

wandering around scary semi abandoned gorky park was a perfect post show activity

give me space and time to both unravel and re ravel

give me curious things that i have never seen

imponderables

the main reason i wanted to go is because i heard barry and his team sprayed the shit out of the place while i was stuck in kiev

i was not disappointed

ducks leaving a roof puddle

the ubiquitous moscovite photo shoot

best photo of jack
real smile better than model face every day!

spencer reachin out and touching someone

still love this thing
so weird i was here two weeks ago and everything was under snow

and now!

ara
that is my guess

holy shit!

fuckkkk

the best part about world travel group show is team

it is very important to bring people together

for fun and collaboration

awesome!
jim? that is my guess

walking around this place made me really happy

guys writing girls names on walls
i have special soft spot for this as you know

there were some half cans lying around so

whee!

i am “the worst” at this seriously

i got bored at this point and changed my graffiti name to “nastya”

jack tags

oh brother

sex brain what else you got in there?

awesome

non-graffiti is a fun thing

i have feelings
my feelings are expanding in waves of love and happy nest
my raisin is returning to a grape

i am agape
for gaperil

nastya is in a crew called DTF

i am ok being the only one who thinks i am hilarious
its cool

there is a lot of fun to be had in the world and i want to make sure i have it

i take it back this is best jack picture

he is kind of the star of my blog for right now

in russia, thor is a TOP

tattoo idea #32

im not sure i have anymore psychological unwinding to give

i am at my desk in NYC typing all this up
things have changed
i feel differentish now

i feel…..awesome

i feel….funny!!!!!

this is like the new coupledom
leaning on one another looking at a screen of some kind

i love the subway

i love everythign!!!

my heart is sopping with love for the world around me and new york and the future

hot sushi!!!

“terrine”

street terrine

i think it was at this point that i realized “i really need to hang out with girls more”

i guess i am a girl and i can just hang out with myself

there’s a girl!
come here girl!

the saddest i was on the entire trip was when i went to TGI FRIDAYS at the Moscow airport and i wanted so bad to give the waitress a NYM pin for her flair and i didnt have one in my purse

it juiced my grape heart to not have a pin for her!!!!!!
am i crazy??

ok go home you weird fruit

new york is waiting for you

with hot flowers

and poop

i made potato leek soup last night to stay awake (im insane)

and woke up in my own bed for once!!!!!

today is a new day and it is fucking gorgeous out

who wrote this

dash used to throw trash in puddles and go “i made a boat!”

spring is giving me feelings

i want everything and i want it now!!!!

there can’t be any more planes in my life for longtemps

i must not have my eyes see things like this for longtemps

oh no!!!
i arrived in moscow and there was “problem with visa” and they yelled at me and deported me to Ukraine!!!!
i’m not kidding

i must not have to ride airport bus for longtemps even though that part is kinda fun

this is ukraine money
how much ukraine money do i need to pay to not miss my opening

i will sit at sad youth hostel by Kiev airport while the nice ladies at Garage figure that out
i will read GQ and have soul lag and feel depressed and my heart clenched like a raisin with panic

my heart is a collapsing raising that says “you have been working on this show for a year and are missing it”

ten hour flight and deportation makes me look like this
my heart is a small clenched collapsed thing

my stomach also clenching with unhappiness

hey! i can at least show you this neat thing while we wait

oh no look at that sub-header
oh boy
ack

i wrote dis

can you read it? i dont have a scanner. read it! its funny

“why are you so hot and how long have you been this way?”

next morning, one more plane and cross my fingers!!!

please please let me have nice opening and not sit in youth hostel

maybe i was not grateful enough, maybe i needed kiev time out so i could sit and think
“i must live my life in a way so that i am the girl going to her museum opening at glamorous beautiful Garage and not girl sitting in tub at youth hostel”

and i made it!

oh thank everything

the last thing to do was find lost bag at other airport

i said mini prayers as the car service whizzed by churches

i can’t wear my dad’s stinky plaid shirt and H+M leggings to my opening
please dont make me
please let me change my underwear and socks too

horay!!!
just in time

just in time!

just in time

ahhhh
my heart is expanding and pumping as normal and embracing all around me

terence went and blessed each work in the show

he made friends

he talked to Dash for longtemps

he sniffed josh butt

he partied with some hippies

oop whered he go

whered he go

there he is

and there he will sit!

you guys
you know how i suck and in what ways
there are no photos of the installation on my camera
we are at mercy of Garage to send me them. then we will all look together

dont even be mad at me! barry is not mad. barry is even giving his email to random russian taggers. he is generous, please be generous with me

everyone loved the opening and was inspired to kiss

we went to fun dinner and Roman Abramovitch came wow! now that is just crazy.
it was so dark and wonderful and kathy decided to retire her camera for a sec and just
ENJOY BEING DONE

then we captured olga and went out

then we went to the ritz

it was olga’s birthday!!!

she had taken jack and john for tatoos that afternoon

please lets all be happy, and not have raisins for hearts, just roses!

and lets stay out until sunrise to have more more more life

lets wake up in a few hours and give a lecture

thank goodness i had friends with me!
poor kathy so little sleep

the translator

look how hot kembra looks in her texas pantsuit in the kiddie seat

Dubossarsky and Vinogradov the best russian artists took us to lunch of pizza and sushi

hot sushi
that is how you say SUCK MY DICK in russian

we had a driver who taught us all the best things to say
all the important phrases we would need while in russia

hot sushi sooka!

hot sushi pidaross!

hot sushi jeffrey jessie and josh!
just kidding
its funny that jeffrey is by far the most up beat and happy and relaxed guy in this dinner photo

stuffy dinners are much more fun with hot jack saying a bunch of crazy shit to people

we are at cafe pushkin which looks like it is 1850s but really like 1970s
russia does not like “old” or “second hand”. there are no thrift stores and no junk shops
when you ask for them, they say “why do you want old gross clothes someone else wore”

which sorta makes sense
look! its the head lady Dasha Zhukova who is awesome

brains, beauty, bodacious art museum owning, pretty fantastic
like this photo of jeffrey trying to read his iphone

like this photo of kembra and waitress lady

kapow! we are in some club and salem are doing their thing

that’s aleksey from garage. he had to scramble to set this all up for us and did an amazing job and it was so much work he told me with regret that night that he had to take, how do you say it, speed to get this all done

hahahahahahahaha!

so you guys this thing they have made, this hour long art piece, video, DJ music explosion mega work, soon you must see this in NYC

we just need to get the keys to the new space and then we can screen this in our new creepy basement before we renovate

that’s right everyone. we are about to get keys to a huge gaping hole

everything must go perfectly this week though or the hole maybe does not get to open! noooooo!!!!!

please dog in heaven let everything go perfectly

do not sent me to time out in kiev, just send me to the bowery to run an art gallery!!!!

which of these five pillows should i sleep on tonight

two hours later

good morning moscow!

they are out

hey!!!!! look what i found in the noise section
my favourite thing
the thing that launched my dreams

that made me convulse with a sense of beauty

i guess we are just looking at things for now

i guess we are just sittin around

workin hard

hardly workin

lemme get my photos in order and return with something more structured
more narrative arc
more dénouement

more de-nudement!
hot sushi!!!!!!

have a drink while i breeze through these last photos
i got a plane to catch!
a-fucking-gain!!!

nick still looks strange and we still have a dinner party and performance to get through!

we had a real bar!
for some reason the tequila sponsor brought lots of condoms????

it was awesome

again, poor kathy forgot to photograph her own event, but poor kathy hopes someone else did!

2/3 of SALEM did this awesome video/music art situation that was fantastic!!!

you will have to wait for the DVD to come out to experience it though
unless you were one of the lucky thirty that were there
some of the most awesome things i have presented have been to the smallest audiences!
we must remedy that situation in moscow

jonah and kris and justin (from afar) were the best hosts and they have the nicest house and even though we were buttfaces were really nice to us. so nice!
they are getting fun surprise package in the mail
and its NOT full of empty beer bottles and spilled candle wax!

nick was not doing excellent job as my photographic wing man
CLEARLY what i wanted a photo of was the little dirty dragon thing on the truck back there

ah well

fabiola took us to the Beverly Hills Hotel which was fantastic

sometimes a little blurb of paradise is just what you need to work super hard to one day get to have more than a blurb!

this kid unfortunately may never learn that lesson
or have his photo cropped nicely

sigh!!

then we went to venice beach!
nick did good photo wingman on this photo tho

hmmm

funny
can get enough of the tagged palm trees
don’t these people have roll down gates??

another doggie coulda used a crop

sigh!!

double sigh!!!
i wanted to steal this blanket so fucking bad
chris johanson for the downtown standard everybody
amazing

i can jump from the tub to the bed
and back
whee!

good morning!

good morning!

nick was such a collossal grump about going for a hike
then after 30mins of dragging him he got excited
then after two minutes of excitement he demanded we leave

lizzards!

i love little lezzi lizzies

and plants

nick thought the plants needed watering

another weird nick photo
nick!!!
do you know how to work camera

im addressing him apostrophically because he actually is still in LA

for who knows how long

i guess we will see

this is Paolo and Valeria’s new house in LA
designed by awesome architects Johnsonmarklee how do i type that?
sharon johnson and mark lee

with a pretty fantastic art collection up there with assistance from Stefan Simchowitz

either owned jointly or half and half of co-curated
too much wine to remember

oo i love the look of “neon turned off”

you guys remember sayre gomez right?
god what two years ago patrick and i stayed in the same room type at downtown standard and went to golden gopher with sayre , that is for the real blog nerds who remember that far back

i try not to remember too far back

ha ha this work got censored!

why ryan, why??

joe bradley
abjectification

yay!

yay!!

yay!!!

i like when colllectors buy good stuff 🙂

charolette airport layover with upside down car
presaging our next blog post

where i go to moscow again tomorrow morning and get to see spencer’s NYPD upside down car yay!!!!!

all my dreams are coming true…so why am i so blue

so the opening

coke and pizza

smiles all around

not this guy tho!
he is givin nothin away

this looks like in typical stupid fashion i took no photos of the opening proper
hopefully royal t ladies took some good ones?
i remember posing with sue for a cute one….

i mean a super “cool” one

ive always wanted to do a face show where the first thing u see is scrolling ben jones facemaker

i never dreamed i would get to put this assume vivid astro focus up
look how amazing this looks! damn. so good

it may be better here than in moscow even
we will see about that in two days!

some ben jones infinite alfe

there were so many awesome pieces in the show

do you guys know jacob julian zilhkowski i spelled that wrong?
do you know stefan bondell?

do you know jane moseley

nate

and patrick and avery?
is it weird that these two pieces looked so good together

i put this awesome Trenton Doyle Hancock next to nick’s because i thought he looked like a fat white southerner
there is so much more show that i inexplicably have no install photos of!!!
i must once again implore you to wait for official installs from royal t

coming soon!

now i have that song “the kkk took my baby away” stuck in my head

what an avalanche of growth!

and then this!!!

i really wanted to post these photos that night after the artist preview but everyone should get chance to see in person before blog spoling

Rammellzee room amazing!
suzanne made this

this is the part i “curated”
essentially kunle made this awesome installation singlehandedly so this is really kunle’s area
the photos are great, greatist hits of early ones, so many fantastic photos

look! there is sue in her kenny hoodie! cute!!

now we are getting fun

this is all part of the “street market 2” area

i blame Barry Espo and Todd!

look how grinny jeffrey is

fuck this is sideways

everybody more than confirmed that this was the most epic thing in there

could it be otherwise?

sidearm!

dashy

todd james work was fantastic there
he had a whole “modern art” room that was hilarious
and unfortunately impossible to photograph

what else?

swoon tent was pretty neato

chris johanson and rosson are neato!!

old basquiat haring vase awesome

the show had fantastic older works
old spray cans, real haring subway drawings, and

yay!
cosmic kenny!

art tar tar

kitty tartare!

this is my favourite
every single one is my favourite

there were a whole lotta men at the opening acting like boys

ah!
here is my attempt to photograph todd’s modern art room!

this is me leaving without having photographed even like 1/10th of the show!!!

im sorry im such a turd, it was crowded and i wanted hamburger

like ten food trucks out back free anythign on the menu!
that is awesome

so jeffrey killed it! yay for jeffrey!!! im so happy it was such a success; he really deserves it, and after all the weird LA losers griping about that shitty mural, that non-issue, so stupid

the show had such great energy, even if some of the art was poo, many parts of the show are just knock out! just incredible

and it had the real “deitch spirit” to it, which i didnt even realize i had missed so much until i felt it again there
i would call it “not being afraid to embarrass yourself” and “taking chances” and “positive vibes only please”

went to ryan trecartin’s house

and this is where my photoshop not working is going to suck because if i autoleveled this it would look cool

i don’t know if autolevels will do anything for nick’s outfit however

a very unique young man, this thing

hummus

jack and jorge

do i need to make another post?
does this make you think of boobs?

royal/t is : 8910 Washington Ave Culver City
tonight!

the MOCA geffen place is 152 North CENTRAL Avenue
tomorrow!

more on that soon

i think jeffrey would be pretty mad if i leaked any photos so you just get this smiley
remember when i leaked roger gastman’s unpublished graffiti book?
oops

watched the second episode of PROBLEM SOLVERS ben jones’ new TV show on Cartoon Network

its such a major mind blowing thing to see this so i am kind of commentless

from the first time you see like a sharpie comic with tux dog like ten years ago, to seeing this cathedral of drawing humor sound beeping pretty colors

this is balkie bartokamus

was balkie’s character supposed to be… greek? i forget

it was just fantastic

then we had vietnamese food
this is rosson’s salad!
(sorry no rosson herself yet)

i asked nick “whats that smell” and he said “summer butt”

this is me waiting patiently for nick to come off his 730am train
picture my anticipation, my extreme morning grumpiness and fatigue, my heart filled with thoughts of a blissful reunion

my favourite flower

my favourite piece in the show!!!
one of them

we are almost done@!

there are so many fun faces here

ooo!

souvenirs

nick has NEVER HAD THIS BEFORE

it was so fun to watch him eat like four of them

this is a big day for me too, this
it is first time i have gotten to show a shrigley!!!

swoon gave me a hug yesterday
while i was installing dash’s photos
it made me feel funny

kenny made a crapper!

taylor down to the wire!

the template for all faces
bare bone!

we have done experimental installation over here

you gotta come see
just to see the allison, michael williams and eddie pieces it is worth coming

and think about the other 80 pieces in the show!!!
see you later today i hope

unwrapped the sky dancers

the old double dong
very tricky to inflate

sighhhh

sighhhh

time to go i think

soon the car will be a convertible and that pole will be a palm tree!

it took me a long time to get this out of print book
then promptly realized why it was out of print

new york!!!!

cleaned the dirtiest sink ive ever seen (thanks nick!) then chopped a bunch of leeks then

back on a plane!

ha ha hore hey!~

im using his computer right now to post a blog and his reward for loaning it to me is me posting funny photos i find on the hard drive

stop in charolette

oooo

and we made it!

this is soon

the members opening the 16th!

the artist opening

so happy to be in LA
just so happy

no diss to moscow or anything

but you snowed on me!!! you fucking snowed on my nose

you made me make this face

means armpit
but PUD getting MOOSHED makes me picture someone jerking someone else off with their armpit

do people do that??

more on this guy in a sec

im still in russia, everything is really dirty from the past snows and the past two days of cold spring rain is making fun crapstraction

haha!
boy these photos are really outta order again
something about russia uploads all higgledy piggledy

this, clearly, is Fidel Castro skiing

sneak peaky at some close up nosing!

new york nosy

look! they have a terence and oh no! we have a floater

how did my camera get a floater
this is nate dan and more ryan and rosson arrivin

brain washing

slicing

confusing

sorry guys another out of order one

fidel in his first TV talk after the cuban revolution had a dove come land on his shoulder unexpectedly

real or planned?
discuss.

Che reading Goerthe
real or planned?
who really reads goerthe

dawning of a dirty dirty day

i became an “art lady” so that i could touch art
simple pimple

food and ben jones somehow an icky juxtaposition
what does that mean??

i thnk “neon” and “food” dont go together

i had |”moscow adventure day” yesterday

many people thought my photographing car doors was weird

end of the line!

nick you need ot get on this before someone else does

kees van DONGA DONGA
my favourite

i like this castanets/clam pinching a joint in its mouth

“bearded like the pard”
imagine a world where the word leopard is so frequent that it necessitated an abbreviation

you guys excited to come to moscow yet

the pushkin had lots of strange works
this is not a Paula Rego
it is a Cezanne!

the lights they bought for the brinkman room
radioactive!!!

speaking of cold war, it seems that olga’s grand dad and my dad were both working on nuclear weapons at the same time on opposite sides of the iron curtain

now we are making art shows together!!!!
that is progress

bonnard
the unsophisticated man’s post impressionist

who i love

this is not a rita ackerman it is a
Cezanne!

this is not
oh it is patrick

wait your turn, boys

no!

time for more marclay!

time to locate josh’s head in the crate

this is takeshi’s room!
poor video artists
never look like much during the install period

this reminds me of Neumann and Jurassic Park

yum

yess!!!

yum again and so similar looking!!

so this photo made my day
my childhood “tormented artist” drawings of “owl in a corner” dont have shit on this “rodin in a corner”

stumpy

i bought “traditional russian snacks” at the grocery store and i bought such gross and weird things, apparently, that the Garage staff decided to take photos of me with it

look at these tits!!!

who do you trust more this guy

or this guy

this guy reminds me of dash for some reason
and dash used to ask me to braid his hair a lot

poo

sigh!

last night here

yay!!!

ooo

awesome

look at dash’s cute butt

finally figured out which string of russian letters equalled “strawberry mango milkshake” on the menu

finally the whole thing!!
so good

pushkin

i hope i never see this movie

you like my geometric eye wash station

time to leave
its 22:25!!!
whatever that means

“poor patrick”
why do i always think that
never jsut “patrick”

jigslaw

this is a van gogh!!!
the babouska wouldnt let me photo it straight on

did you know “peepeeshka” means “genitals of a child”

i learned lots of russian while i was here

“russia art awards”

butt-rison

i gotta go nick is driving me nuts on the phone and the car is outside

bye garage!!!!

somethign mechanical encrusted all over my photobucket and all my photos are outta orden

this is the most recent photo i took

this is last night

this mornin

yesterday

im just gonna go with it

we are just gonna go with it

today i got to preview the new Garage space they are moving to in ” a bit”

the space i am in now typing this where my show will be april 22 is an old constructivist bus terminal and there is a weird thing in russia where you can’t get long leases, that you are at the mercy of the landlord who can boot you out at anytime

so if you spend a shitload renovating a space into an awesome museum, you can get pooted out whenever and be shit outta luck

doesnt make a whole lot of sense to me. im trying to sign a 15year lease!

where the fuck am i gonna be in 15 years
the world will probably be over by then

or a new ice age

ill be fucking forty fucking five by then what will i care
have all kinds of annoying babies and dogs and husbands or something
ha ha

sorry that last pregnancy comment grossed me out. why would you write that? were you trying to suggeset that i am a bit too pleasantly plump? because that is mean

shit these were a whole fun series and now they are outta orden

ok ok we will let this post build naturally
this is a building that might get built naturally into a great museum soon

this at some point will get built into poo

shit!!! and i promised myself i woudl not even hint at butts today since i made nick mad by being lame last post

i dont think about butts all day, mostly i think about found art, randomly beautiful or compelling bits of the urban landscape that recontextualized equal awesome art

oops this is real art keegan made this

everyone likes to make art

she didnt know she was making art

walking around the new garage space was really cold and my boots of course have holes in them so my feet still, 530pm at office soaking wet

this is a real nice one

this tasted weird
buckwheat
ewww

burny

burny

aha! this goes with the other ones

aha! this is maybe two days ago?

went to a super market which was super fun

shit we are outta orden again

lass night?

lass

i thought ben jones woudl like this what do i know

nobody likes what i think they would like
nobodly likes me
im gonna go eat worms

that was a song my dad used to sing me

“nobody likes me everybody hates me i might as well eat worms
big ones little ones short ones fat ones ones that squiggle and squirm”

sounds better with some musical accompanyment

i got barry and his assistants a bike to ride while they are here in moscow

i wanted this post to be all faux-ami with russian where its funny because a P is an R and a H is an N and all that word jazz

but i just cant be bothered and these photos being all shuffled is shufflin my brain orden too
this is a birthday card in the supermarket

this is probably a bum trying to get at the wine down there

this is the towering kathy who stomps cities

this is a detail of that painting by kegan way up there

this is the entire Garage staff fieldtrip

it was really fun it made me happy

i feel like i got to see something no one else gets to see, something new being born!

no part of this caption will contain the word “butt” i promise
this is the lake where Master and Margarita thingie happens where the devil appears

out of the horse’s butt!!!
just kidding sorry

scoop your own frozen veggies?
dont mind if i do!

wow

wow

seeing is pretty WOW

im going to have a welcome basket for Rafael de Cardenas the exhibition designer when he arrives and this will be in it!

and these

whee!

i bought nick some funny candies
whoops! i ruined the surprise

im so lonely here sometimes
and its only been three days!!

being a turd i know i know

i just need hugs and stuff
i am jsut a girl

hey wow!!! did you guys know that i get to show these here in moscow?

the dudes are hanging Taylor, Allison Schulnick, and Francine now

and there are more works still on the way!

didnt i post this already?
now i am really turned around

favourite photo of the post

oop another one!

i thought i posted this one already too…

what the effffffffort

what the effffffluvia

what the effffffffedrine

the pinwheels arrive soon
and shortly after them Jim and Ara!

its going to get so fun here you dont even know

ha ha i just had to google that because i was sure i must have already named a blog this
i mean surely the last time i came to russia i called my blog SPICY BUTT, right?
because SPAY SEE BUH means “thank you” but sometimes when people say it it sounds like SPICY BUTT and of course that is how i remember it

you guys should try googling “spicy butt” if you are bored; put a big ol smile on your face

so!

SPICY BUTT for listening to my long intro

SPICY BUTT to all the people who still read this blog even though i keep making bad jokes

and a big SPICY BUTT to the people who let me take photos of them and make my blog interesting

ten hour flight puts me in the screming room

this is garage

they have a few awesome shows up now including this digital art code related show that will be really awesome to peruse when i am not jet lagged outta my mind

this is the start of the show!

this is more show!!!

this is me climbing scary circular stairs so i can see JUST HOW MUCH SHOW we get to do!!!

look at all this show show

SPICY BUTT to dan for these awesome gum gums
third one on its way from Milan now!

FACEMAKER opens in LA april 14th and NEW YORK MINUTE MOSCOW opens in moscow april 22

there will be drinking at both
please come!

tomoo!

lizzi soon to be donged!

wryan wrapped

omg the poor installers trying to recreate a 587 panel barry mcgee monster

SPICY BUTT to dave sherry!

oh you guys i get to show these works from chris what a thrill you guys!!!

SPICY BUTT to Joe for these!

whirled peas Jaimie new to NYM yay!

eddie martinez another masterpiece SPICY BUTTTTT EDDIE!!!!!

Michael Williams new to NYM

same with schulnik!

ooo

so as im typing its like 10am the next day and the dudes are STILL squattin over this barry
barry!!!

so my grandma when i was a kid made “meatball soup” she is russian by the way, and it was mostly hot water, ketchup, meatballs, and a knot of dillweed.

and somehow i have actually never had borscht ever until yesterday and it was crazy because borscht tastes JUST LIKE MEATBALL SOUP,,,,,, which is so weird,,,,, i guess my grandma was trying to recreate what she thought borscht tasted like? i guess borscht tasted like hot ketchup and beef balls and dill????

i almost started crying in front of all the staff with me because
why is life so crazy

brendan lynch another new NYM man

ok ok enough barely started installing photos
lets “preserve the magic” shall we?

one of the other shows up at Garage now is Christian Marcalays awesome piece that was in NYC and everyone raved about and i never got to see and was all pish posh but wow!!!

the piece is just fantastic

what else??? i dont have very many NON install photos

this is me in a cool bar club place drinking mushed strawberries w vodka and jalapeno peppers

SPICY BUTT is what too many jalapenos give you btw

i keep waking up at 6am from nightmares and watching sad grey sunrise from my 17th floor window

then going to museum all day to install

living the dream!!!! that is what jesse said and sometimes you know it just feels like that