it’s early and my tote bag is dirty

this! more on this in a sec


rosson opens her show in Paris tonight!
i don’t know how we will get to see it
we will wait patiently for the internet to be updated with it

jeffrey kept trying to make her laugh so the picture would be better. he was very sure that the picture would be boring unless she was laughing in it. which is funny i guess!

rosson has moved into williamsburg deitch studios! she has marked her territory
not with pee

territory markus

i spit on this so rosson would not eat my salad at Diner

willie HAS peed all over her new back yard to mark it as his territory

guess what?
willie doubles as a hat

hold still stupid hat!

guess what? willie doubles as a vagina dentata

on that note i should probably go to DC

it was my dad’s birthday weekend
so union station was putting up all these big wreaths for him

suburbanity. these colors dont come in new york

tennis! if only i could play tennis in new york there would be literally no reason to ever leave

i made billy go play at night with me too
that’s how much tennis i wanted to play

nikki my only high school friend invited me over for champagne!
not quite as visually stunning as the pineapple upside down cake was on this table but still great
she taught my brother how to use Pandora


we bought my dad an orchid

my brother made breakfast that looked like his sweater

if i keep saying it it becomes a word

i bought my dad this yellow sweater kind of as a joke; in imperial china you didn’t get to wear yellow because it was the emperor’s color. until you turned 80 when you officially could. yay dad!

my mom made me print these out at Kinkos for her to cover the peeling paint and plaster patch on the wall

which pretty much sums up her perspective on art

just kiddding

old people party
the really old dude talking to my dad worked with him on nuclear weapons crap and helped take care of his first batch of kids from when he was in his 20s. in the 20s! just kidding. in the 40s i think

whenever my mom kisses my dad in public he pretends he doesnt like it and flails around and says “yuck!”

look at all this extended graysonism


ok ok ill stop

i got to go to the best PHO in DC again (which is in VA actually)

i got to go blacklight bowling

my mom seems to have taken a picture of me doing it

you have to picture this place also as being full of “bethesda singles” which are a unique brand of ick, and BLASTING literally shaking the seats Lady Gaga and then like Nickelback or i dont even know the right names for the kind of music my goodness and everything being black-light

oh and the huge TV screens everywhere

my mom freaked out because john (dad’s youngest of the first three sons young kid) wasnt around when the leaf thing snuffled up the leaves he had raked so she went out into the street to take a picture of it for him

“de gustibus non est disputandum”

if you were about to throw up from how ugly and banal suburbanity can be, try on this RURALITY!

if it doesnt soothe your soul down to your socks you might be short one soul

billy was the victim of a brutal seed dispersal


ah environmentalist jokes

billy told me i was so lazy that i probably had EPIPHYTES do you get it?

is my brother not witty and suburbane?
look how rainy and slimy it was the whole rest of the time
no more tennis for kathy
no tennis and all family make kathy go…

i ate some muscular feet at my dad’s favourite seafood place, Crisfields

we played mini-golf at this bar in South East
a sort of scultor-manqué’s little shop of nightlife horror

it was DC themed
ah DC! fun-ish without a shred of cool. selfconscious and strivingly uncool. doomed, for me at least.
there is not one thing about DC that is effortless
is i guess how i would describe it

finally thanksgivin
GOB get me outta here!

i cant be around any more j crew necks

i know i know don’t be a butt
i love seeing my parents and silly brother and i love how funny the 80th birthday was
but i do not like suburbanitas or rusticus, to use the latin. i like the nine popes URBAN!

patrick painted that mural
that was why he got no thanksgiving this year
poor pat!
and look it has made him deranged

someone get that pup a tofurkey and i mean quick!

i’ll take this lot over a suburban forest any day


man these blog titles are like one day off. yesterday was the two puker
and today’s post definitely a better wonderclout; an obsolete word for “showy but worthless”

i will thus predict the future by calling this post “absonism”

these rotting duck eggs could definitely have been in the two puker one too
terence’s lecture at the New York Arts Club was last night and he served art food

cold tomato soup (obvious), muscles (? that Broodthaers pot maybe?), then the rotting duck eggs which Garrick said was “just some weird asian thing”, and then eclairs with real ants in them! which is a Dali thing i assume

stacy engman looked really cool with her porta doily. the guy on the right is the head of the art club and mentioned they gave Dali TWO lifetime achievement awards
which is crazy

waiting waiting crowded and hot and nonetheless very exciting!


so the title of the lecture was
1642 being the date of Rembrandt’s famous The Night Watch
which after restoration was clearly not a night scape

the trick to Terence’s lecture was that he gave a straigh-faced slide lecture speaking only in his weird gibberish language
that sounds roughly like “icstyakthery lelanginchon ganolin ling tranliosky larmnono isko unlin”
but not because it has it’s own logic and repeated sounds and phonetically interrelated structure. it really actually sounds like he is speaking something. wait let me just upload a short video

see what i mean? im just going to post photos and you imagine the audio

you can get the idea partly from the selection of images too

speaking of weird jokes i passed a restaurant called PONTY on the way home and saw a couple drinking what i will assume to be MERLOT in the window, which of course spawned a joke in my head but it reminded me that i had made up a joke like a month ago that never really resolved itself.

it was something about how “in pain” in France would mean “in bread” which homophoning “inbred” so i was trying to cook up something involving french people and west virginia and bread and i dont know i got lost and gave up. can anyone turn this into a joke?

i need a new joke
to combat the crushing seriousness and dreary monotony of real life

jokes are usually just structured around exploiting a homophone

terence loves to exploit homophones as well 🙂

like any great artist he has his own line of art history that speaks to his work, his own legacy he teases out of all the things in the book

with extra asians on top

he kept pointing at their genitals

the other way meaning was constructed in this lecture was in the structure of the gibberish

when he was pointing to things and indicating something, he actually reused the right gibberish work so like if he said “lakka” for one area, then when he pointed to that thing again he said “lakka” again. it was really surreal

who knows where this wellspring on nonsense came from
its VERY hard to generate non-meaningful speech for very long
try it! its almost impossible to not repeat yourself of run out of ideas

for people who think terence is an endless source of nonsense he would say YES!

i talked to vito for a while before the thingie and got excited for him to help me with this idea i have. did i ever print that photo of him and Terence exchanging a basquiat out of the back of a car in an alley? funny photo man i wish i had the hi res of that one

some self-referential jokes of course

pruitt coke line!

jeffrey said “his group is better than most museum permanent collections”

jeffrey of course is having to deal with the weird Dakis/New Museum drama
which is a ridiculous non-drama but seems to make some dumb peple really worked up
maybe instead of koons they can get Terence to do it. who could be mad at terence??

who can disapprove of david shrigley?

it got pretty fun when it got up to the “2009” part or whatever


look at the look on terence’s face i love it

i love this too

i love this photo

oo oo and then he showed one of my paintings!!!
why is terence so sweet he didnt have to do that

and remember this oxycontin Clemente?

then he “talked” about the art market and that part was hilarious
you have to imagine that even though the words were understandable you could see his face and hear the intonation of his voice, the inflection, the pacing of it.

it ended just with photos of his own hands in a few positions and then this little yellow dot


everyone loved it! it was really a herculean feat. and hilarious. and suggestive and strange and everything you want outta terence

if you need even more terence in your life go to Tsquare park tomorrow! be there or be Tsquare
i will be in DC for my dad’s 80th birthday but you should go!
did you know that in imperial china when people turned 80 they were finally allowed to wear yellow??


its funny right now i really feel like puking but i already used that puker last time
all my photos this time are so civilized, totally out of touch with the tumult in my tummy
oh my tummy! i drank way too much last night
and the night before

this is the Met opera, not a good place to puke

it’s nice there

it’s funny; i bumped into jules that afternoon and told him i was going to see Faust and he described it as really “red and black and s+m-ey” but the whole time i couldn’t find anything that matched that description, except vaguely the outfit of Mephistopheles.

we liked it
there were many odd acrobatic moments
i guess there were quite a few harnesses; maybe that is what jules meant?
rosson was wearing a sexy black and red dress is that what jules meant?

Pat had his party for his Art Prodution Fund project on the Cooper Hotel!
they had mulled wine and grilled cheese hors d’oeuvres in the library and it was really cozy

even typing about food is making me really really sick to my stomach
oh! someone help! i am in pain

these came for me in the mail and i really need a record player! is there an ap for this??

this is an odd photo above: there was a gift bag in the cab home from Tim’s party at White Slab (not pictured) and it had a half-pillaged giftbag that retained this mug and USB mugwarmer

this is last night
shepard fairey is going to be in Miami this year for Basel….just saying

cookies puke

this is why i am so sick
two bottles of haunted Vinho Verde and its a wrap

why is my winho glowing do you ask?

patrick made all my dreams come true by watching UP with me in our fake home theater!

i love patrick and i love childrens movies!!!

then we had to go out wait this photo is better

then we had to go back out because the Weapons had a record release party thing at Santos

we got there early and wandered around

JR and Jailbait

they were great!

cory kennedy is going to cram rafael in her mouth!

a-ron feeling entitled to take a chair

i took one million pictures of them dont worry

ugh im having flashbacks to the tequila
ohhhhhhh my tummmmmmm

bored of my belly-aching?

i’ll stop. sorry. i am annoying

remember when i had Ryan McGinley do a guest blog on this?
god that was so long ago

ok ok i know i’m no photographer
i get fixated on things that look like they should look like photos

im better at taking photos that look like this

ooo i actually like this one

what a handsome thing this is

oops i think my brain had checked out by now. blurry and blown out! alex looks goth


i look like puke

two puker

i went to two events on friday

terence made boys draw in undies

to celebrate the relase of this really awesome actually converse shoe he designed

one guy (not pictured) had a big boner part of the time it was funny

the roof was really nice

then nikki had her salon opening in her apartment


puckered butts

and spiky vaginas

clemente can you believe it?
oxycotin huh

and the raquibbler:

it may look like a faberge egg but with details like this it has to be more than that!

the show

pat and i made dinner and i was so hungry i couldnt stop to take a decent picture

i dont know what i really did this weekend
nothing i guess

all this free time i get to sit in cafes all day taking notes on my new book WILD FILE

i made this too

aurel and i had a million drinks last night

i would type girls night out but that phrase makes me barfff


and shrimpy

going to patrick’s mural opening RIGHT NOW at cooper hotel!
you go too!

old to begin

i have a perhaps un-tasty blend of things to serve right now
starting with these cool proto-pogs taylor brought me from tokyo

food metaphor courtesy the soup melange sloshing in my tummy that was gross

this is the Michael Cline book i wrote the essay for!

those of you not prone to headaches may read the text here

there are lots of extended metaphors related to the soup melange in this essay as well, as Cline blends lots of shouldnt be good together ingredients in his paintings

but please read for yourself

“bungled over the precipice”
im pretty fond of that sentence

this is my favourite painting in the book
i tried to make my two fingers add to the grossness i hope it worked

i did go out last night
to a party Tim Barber led me to think was his birthday at white slab
i just didnt take any pictures so i feel like it didnt really count
i dont want you guys to think i am turning into a CSI Miami watching Nintendo Wii playing private alcoholic or anything. i still am seen in public occasionally….


now we are previewing Slater Bradley at TEAM
openin tomorrow but an open door drew me in while i was getting lunch today
and this photo of ben brock

BTW while i was getting lunch i saw Elizabeth Berkley AND Tracy Jordan; what is this hollywood?

sea foam
hanging things long and low is neat

not sure what is going on here

but LOVED this little dingleberry

PIG magazine just sent me their PDF so i could see the NYM part

compare Patrick’s answer to question 6 with that of Ben or Ara

after that nod to love and heartbreak lets move to terence’s opera from paris

i wanna do this in new york city!!!
summary acts

shame shame

we are going to hang out in NYC just one sec before you get to see Tomoo and LA

kristin baker opened SPLITTING TWILIGHT anyone know that title reference?

it’s on the tip of my tongue. is it a pavement album???

tried googling it and got a little too much info on the next TWILIGHT movie

look at this

wow what a nugget!

this one is one of the best
you kind of have to see them in person!

esp the wee ones

look at that oceanic depth! amazing. this texture is so aqueous and yet torn and yet!

did you spot some digital printouts in there? i thought i did! a new ingredient??

beer and book and flying out of this
not around the world just to Los Angeles!

patrick likes this

i got a great tour of the new Blum and Poe from Matt

i forget about this one
there is something but i forget it
and the fact that i dont mind terribly that i forget it is a bad sign

uh oh WHAT is that

a magic eye painting!!!!
can u see it?
i can

the rough lofty space

can you spot the innovative hang?

new Grotjahn

this is Robers and Tilton

i forget who but they were awesome
layers of “screenic” like painting, blurred deep TV film issues
but they were called “mixed media” on the checklist
which is slang for “wont reveal my secrets”

mixed media tacos amazing! with ollie

driving into the sun

past everyone

back in culver city and kim light is full of china art objects!

she moved down the block a little. little nice cube space

dan attoe at Peres Projects
i always forget that i really like his work
if you asked me i would say “oh sure hes ok” but then when i see his work in person i always leave feeling more like WOW he is really something!

maybe the coke painting is not a good place to mention it but the caption reminded me that i had this major burst of optiism, perspective and well-being while i was in LA, from purely natural causes, and maybe just for the first time felt the effects of the west coast, the effect others talk about that used to annoy me. the getting off the treadmill feeling
maybe not

now onto Tomoo Gokita at Honor Fraser, the raison d’etre of this visit

is that a hidden weiner?

this was my favourite
not incidentally the most figurative one
i like his abstract paintings as well. i just have that extra wow thing with the figurative ones
should i feel bad about that?
or rather, does that make me unsophisticated?
the difference between an A and an A+ is not so very big a difference anyway

oh and look at this nugget!
remind you of anything??

sorry i keep answering my own questions how annoying of me!

i guess maybe today it just seems more apparent than other days that im not actually talking to anyone

now i am down the street a little at “stefan simchowitz’s favourite gallery in LA”
did you like my british spelling for the south african?

they had a Brian Bress photo in the back that was truly striking
if it doesnt strike you look at this:

i outlined the figures for you
this is a photo of three people in a set that he built, not just a collage or whatever

kim light looking art sexy

i forget what show this was, the place behind honor’s space?
this is KIKI who was on my blog before do you recognize her?

two pieces stuck out

new york minute nightmare!
i had them, i assure you

tomoo dinner
tomoo loves mexican wrestling, tacos, and tequila

the beers were left largely untouched in favour of it

tomoo and friend
i should have taken more pictures at the party because it was really fun (read: lugubrious)

so i drove to santa monica the next morning
i went to barnes and noble and the first thing i saw was the NUMERO with the article i wrote on terence!
it was 13 boners so i didnt buy it and then forgot to take a picture
i took a picture of this odd graffiti book instead

whose only page with anything recognizable included these two photos. which dont make any sense and what the heck was up with that book?
you know those buildings out in LIC? i think it was a book on that sort of thing

i wanted to stick my toes in the water just for a sec

i did so

i would say it is important to do as many things as possible to constantly remind your dumb brain the scale and scope of the world and the things in it
because you naturally snap back to your tiny set of concerns and your intese stresses and disappointments and forget to stick your head out and take a fresh breath

how many metaphors did i cram in there?

this is my favourite flower because it is so sharp and squaking
i can almost hear the archaeopteric screech it is making


what is this succulent thing?

patrick in a harness!
oh wow what a treat

pat in Art Production Fund action!

i told joyce i liked her piece’s pinhole eyes and she said “he did too many drugs”
joyce being like a 60yr old artist who grew up in brooklyn makes this funnier. google her!

patty pat

i wont show the whole thing here is a preview with Shinique!

working on something myself, much smaller

i had typed something about Dash but the computer deleted it somehow
it was about how i woke up from this really vivid dream about him this morning and it took a goodly while to realize it was just that.
i have this intrusive memory of how he used to always say “shame shame, know your name!” at me and laugh and poke me.
i cant imagine what i did to keep having him say this to me. maybe my behaviour was especially shameful during that time!

since that dream or rather the morning reality and its recollection right now depresses me, lets look at animals for our remaining 5 seconds

not all thigns on cuteoverload are cute

some are just neato

some are shameful!


brian nibbling roland can only mean its Halloween!

went to Jules’ STARR SPACE to see a night of performance stuff curated by Joseph Whitt

pat and stefan DJed

the veggie burgler

i made this outfit myself with a hot glue gun and a white Tshirt
and my stuffed bulldog Butter

bad dog!

i see a salad

rita ackerman and lizzi bougatsos were intense!

it was on the art end of the ART–PARTY continuum
i usually like to be a bit more on the party end of that continuum


actually it looked pretty cool

i stepped out for one second and missed terence’s opera
the main reason i went
i cant believe i did that i am so stupid

oh wait abby scholar you are going to shit when you see garrick:

are you local?

too much sit ting not enough dance ing

its ok terence gave me some fun sauce

see look how much fun

eww skeleton tongue

i liked the soy sauce girl

patrick being really nice to me as always

sarah sad clowning around the corner
this is where my brain kind of checked out

ah the harsh light of morning balloons

last night sampling the entire margarita menu with Rosson

this building’s going DOWN

and this is going up!
kristin baker is hiding behind that box can you spot her?
she is goin to pop out and scare you at her opening

faces of death

this is one of those blogs where i typed this funny blog then firefox crashed so i have to type it again but without the passion and creativity of the first go round

a stale and heartless blog

for a stale and heartless world!

just kidding.
this is the lance armstrong livestrong fundraiser show
not heartless
very nice

jack made that shirt
it is part of some running team?
i didnt understand what he was saying because it involved running in public in new york

look rosson wearing a zac posen of her own painting!

then the dinner

jules on the receiving end of Robert Lazzarini’s amazing gun sculpture

food scooped with a plate
visually interesting

i love meatballs
my favourite part of the adam sandler oeuvre is that grandma putting one meatball into each hand. i would love that.

might as well put all the food together
this is pumpkinfest 2009
althought i dont know if onyl one pumpkin deserves a fest because pat wouldnt let me do pumpkin carving. in my head this is what we did later

the butt one is pats and the pumpkin pie is mine

oops this is really old. from the EV Opera night

i saw this walking around town

how did i never see this before? its on grand street for goodness sake

lookin at the ground or looking at the sky i guess

what is this thing in the sky?

its pat making his art production fund cooper hotel murAl!
more on that later

christina and i went for ramen next to teh hotel

it was amazing
pat has always stifled my love of asian soups but no more!

bumped into Defne who showed us the PERFORMA project space

performa started on teh first!
i am behind

then we went by here to see ashley
i have never been here and didnt know what it was

aparently its full of cool artist products

products might be too strong

this is a prop from gordon hulls movie



then we went to catch the last hour of Michael Cline’s show at Marc Jancou

i wrote the essay for the cataloue. forgot to take a picture of that. the paintings are the main event anyway!

i think this one was my favourite

wish i could but 6 more hours of office for me

hey what day is voting day again? i hope its not today and im missing it because i wanted to vote this 14 year old for mayor

haloween photos as soon as i find my camera
blerg! what a night