Wasabi Pee


we sat by the river and drank beers and wasabi peas and it was nice


we had nice beers and bar with funny gallery talk with christopher and paulie and jokes and normal and no pharell


we got to have really really drunk order too much dinner too


the next lovely morning there was the Schaulager visit
which reminds me of Emily Feingold and Shau, her lawn ornament


weiner for breakfast


their building is sweet


inside too
and we saw paul mccarthy!


robert gober drainage world
i wasnt allowed to take photos and these were the only i could escondito


this room as unguarded
talk about ART AND FEAR


this piece rules
RAT KING RAT KING


this was confusing


it doesnt look like an injury, so what is it?


the swiss are weird
i’ve nicknamed teh chubby blonde at the hotel HILDEGAARD who was really rude to me when my room key didnt work
she told me i must be doing it wrong and she would come show me
i told her i had been coming to the hotel for three years and knew how to use the hotel key and that she could stick it


i am testy with the swiss
i dont know why
i wish i was not!
it is terribly unflattering


now we are at LISTE


bear in mind i am only taking photos of the 1% best stuff there


which should tell you somethin


NIEVES thing was genuinely pretty cool


james fuentes


not this work, obviously, but the MEAN and MEDIAN too i suppose for liste was TRIANGLE WITH STRING ON IT


lets go to VOLTA and see what their mean and median is


lets rid the pig train!


it was in a new venue this year “the largest concrete dome in existence”
(“that hasnt caved in yet”)


nancy reagan’s at Zieher smith were cool


huh


you be the judge
i am outta opinions


everyone wants my opinion and i just want kissing and loving


dagmar de pooter dagmar de pooter we are gettin close


yesssss!


blerg too much f’art


these are evan’s kinda guys


my head is spinnin from all this constant LOOKING


lets get outta here!


lets drink four beers ready?


no peeing


only multiracial friendships


no hippie drum circles


perfect
and now we are caught up!

work donkey


art and fear
famous essay


art and street flecks
my next essay


bye! bye! bye! this guy was running along with the train


we are relaxing on our 9hour train to Basel


i love train journeys


i made an epily long animation in college based on train travel
i think i was obsessed with a Jeremy Blake piece i saw with the same pacing and shapes


made it!


good morning cool guy!


wet ones


that was fast


this place


early bird gets the

settin up the booth


oh my


the booth!


is this someone’s art?


warhol and sprouse


alex duve is on new york time


the first day went great


this piece is kinda ick


or is that a bit of hyperbole?


this is Damiana helping with new york minute


lets blow this pop stand


lets party!


a big Emmanuel Perrotin party


look its Pharell


“all you nasty european bitches do you like sex sex sex?”


“perrotin and Design Miami, drop it like its hot”


look its Larry Gagosian and Jay Jopling


the art world thinks its so cool and sophisticated but all it takes is a celebrity to make them act like losers


now jeffrey wants a rapper of his own to compete with Perrotin


anyone but kanye, please


we like each other


it was pretty fun


the music was terrible though
what is up with Paris?
lame


the great ‘le baron’ guys played Madonna’s Like A Prayer, then Nirvana Smells like teen spirit, then a swing song from the 40s or something
im shocked everyone just didnt leave instantly


there’s no accounting for taste i guess


day too


diva too


you FEET zees


HANDS holbein
like my bad puns?


faces of the deitch booth


i’m the doctor


stefan bought this
hilarious


these are so sweet


ever tried to do anything with a ball point pen besides write with it?


he is a virtuoso of hand


remember when stefan said ben jones needed to work on his hand? that was ridiculous


remember when kathy repeated “dagmar de pooter gallery” over and over until she drove her coworkers insane?


this is right next to us


have you guessed what it is yet?


emmanuel de pooter gallery


awesome


great


super sweet


our booth rules!


oh no!
ABRH!


oh no ABRH!


this is a paul chan
i should maybe stay in our booth more


patrick is my work donkey sometimes


but i feed him good


eeee-awwww!


i had a meeting with the Romans


meetings


meeting food
hey at least i remembered not to order the WURST SALAT


alex wins best badge


Eye see a lot of bad art


this raquib is odd
same spot as last year!


at least some of them take some responsibility!


Art Unlimited is always big and bad


see?
this piece is called GRID RIPPER
great title


this piece is more badass than bad
but the rest of it just bad


ok! im gonna save some farts for tomorrow so this page will load better

no shirt no shoes


i dont trust artists
i have rules: never enter an artist’s hut
never put on headphones or apparell or get into any stirrups
never let an artist convince you to remove your shoes


if you follow these rules then you may walk through the Arsenale’s FARE MUNDI with me


i cant wait to have fresh sharp video presentations


i reluctantly went into this dark room by an asian lady but was pleased to find it full of common appliances and electronics, invisible exccept for their little ON lights


never get into bed with an artist either


this is a Paul Chan work that was “polarizing”


its a humpfest


break time!


we went into this old bookshop and the owner made us go in the back to see


he thought this was hilarious


back in the fart fair


this was a sad piece


cold


oh no it appears we have come full circle
ok what is next?


handsome pat


and his homely woman friend


we went to a fun dinner at the secret restaurant


passed out New York Minute pins


im hungis in the booth again


the next day perhaps?


no no an no


me gusta pintarrrrrrr


fascinating shitty new york plants


festivalism festivalism! you know what roberta smith calls festivalism?


there was a hungarian pavillion about criminal phrenology


at the end there was a mirror so you could “see yourself as the criminal” or something


have i mentioned that i love patrick?


this is Tobias Rehberger (sp?) cafe


it won the second palm frond of art peace award


america,america


bruce nauman’s american pavillion


eatin boogers eatin boogers
that is how i spell bookers


you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose…..


get it? it took me a sec
the inside is all “lounge gone wrong”
and the title of the pavilion, danish i think, is “The Collector”


did i mention there were 6 cute young men lounging around in there?


the russian pavillion was cool


this room of blacklight activated crowd painting


surrounding you with cheering noises. scary and good


made you feel like a gladiator


the other artists were less good but still ok


hilariously bad
(which is better than ‘just bad’)


ditto
ikea art


funny


french pavilion was sorta good


this one was poo


this pavilion was just more giardini
sweet!


imagine patrick going “look kathy, you would like this!”


jones mekas? no that cant be right. something like that though


unknown


dale chihuly (snicker)!


egypt pavilion?


ho boy


this is not art


rachel harrison


Another Bad Creation
Another Bad Rachel Harrison (ABRH from now on)


there! back at the beginning again


ciao, venezia!

fair mundi


lets look at the biennale before we run outta energy


guyton/walker that didnt totally suck balls


still contentless if you ask me


oo sproingis


natalie djurberg


she won the palm frond of art sagazity prize i just heard

the gold lion of stregth and the dove of art peace


some bullshit


this made me laugh and laugh


thisis the group show in the giardini. it is all i let myself see before patrick came to love me and view art with me


someone just asked me to be in one of these
not yoko ono though
damn!


Rikrit reading lounge?


whatevs
im going to the Lido for biking


trapped on the lido for biking


getting caught in a rainstorm is great


ok its gone
or maybe this is an out of order photo
who can tell?


this is me taking the slow boat up the grand canal to get our train tickets to Basel


which means YOU have to take the slow boat but instead of 2 hours you get 20 seconds max


i like to scroll fast too its ok


whats the longest you’ve spent looking at a photo? i cant remember the last time i stared at a photo for more than 20 seconds


maybe at the blah blah blah whats his name show. robert frank


lets snoop with zooms


please allow me to join your wedding photo yes thank you


banners should be banned from the rialto


i warned you it was the slow boat!


ok i made it run for solid ground


look at these people standing in smelly disgusting water for a photo


because san marco was flooded i had to go a weird way home and stumbled on our secret favourite restaurant!
now the internet will remember it for us so we dont have to


oops where did i go


oops what is going on


this is me going to get patrick


got him!


everything just got better


ok wait im turned around again

photobucket uploaded my photos outta orden and my narrative is getting really pessoan


there should be photos of the entire biennale and arsenale
a million boring photos
should be hard to lose!


all i can find are these fun photos arent you sad?


pat got that bag for his mom i am just holding it


i am a bad self-editor so you get two almost identical photos


all i have are these random photos


of our beach picnic


and pud


and loving each other


and finding things


and swim


and baby butts from far away


so we dont seem creepy


and towels


video games


a foosball ancestor


oh no this looks like the Art!
save it for later
i have a book meeting in 30 minutes and i gotta make it good

ketchup rubber buns and liquor

i gotta catch up really fast because it’s a day off in basel and this looks like new york still:


i mean obviously it is new york
i liked this add for venice and mykonos
get ready!!


first we took a long train from london up almost to scottland


over sands to Grange-Over-Sands


to kate’s cottage!


look its a bee hive


look how nice their cottage is


this was a local delicacy that patrick enjoyed
patrick always was a bit rummy


remember the photo of kate pregnant and deranged in front of this back in Peckham?


this was a present for Iggy


he liked it i think


this is the most appealing looking breakfast i have ever seen
if i ever get a better more scrumptuous looking breakfast photo i will be shocked


lots of wandering
i was only there for a day due to a lunch scheduling problem in Venice


essentially i was there for 22 hours


see you next time! take care of Pat!
feed him lots of cheese!


BACK over sands
does that make it London-Over-Sands?


all trains into london were stopped for 2hours outside the city from signal failure
i missed my plane and slept at Gatwick Airport and arrived in lagoon city the next morn


i almost got another cool photo but i was slow on the draw


was reading this book


was prodding this business class food. does it look fancier than normal?


i dont like how 99% of people pronounce ‘glacier’


hey! now we’re cookin!


zip zipped to the NEW YORK MINUTE pr lunch


too busy yakkin to take pictures but i see shamim and an old roman collector who seems psyched on the show.


this guy’s snake belt is psyched on the show


after! that went quick


this guy liked his new york minute lunch

Gl├╝cksritter

i am a soldier of fortune
i am off on a long journey


and so much before i leave!
this looks gross but it was the best whatever this is called in brooklyn
pat took me to some place out in bushwick to get it


across from this


we went to this flea too since we still had the pennsylvania rental car


not all hats are good for pats


we had to take photos since there weren’t mirrors


butts


bugs


we got a lot of shit


this is what our back yard looks like now that it is warm
blerg


we bumped into terence on the street where he was at a cafe watching cute gays move into an adjacent apartment building


unladen we went to ASS for EVERYTHING OUT GOING


inexpensive art and product


terence needs some quick cash


its open till june 6th


its open now!
what are you waiting for???


buy my get a rope zine


it will make you instantly cool i promise


then we did something i forget then we went to LIT where leo was installing a show i will never see


­čÖé


the next day was bootyful and i went to williamsburg to meet our… subletter yay yay yay!


got soaked and then dried walkin to meet him at an open studios event


it was in the old brooklyn fire proof building
meeeeemmmmmoriieeeeeeesssssss!


all beards look the same


i think this was Matthew Cerletty’s studio? could that be?


our subletter!
yayayayayayayayayay!


a girl from hunter whose work was pretty interesting


they have a few studios available for really cheap for those who want it!


i liked this work because i mean fuck it just go for it
if you wanna paint this crazy stuff just paint it


this person is pretense free and having fun, at least self-pleasing fun


these were odd
and oddly contentless


this guy was the best of the group
and hung in a way that the artist seemed embarrassed of it maybe


i see slava and brian!


sigh!


walk back home i guess


this photo of poop dick didnt turn out as cool as i hoped


this might be my favourite palette in a graffiti photo ever
dont you just wanna paint something with these colors?
blarg!


not this one


accidental art

i have a LOT to say about accidental art and patronizing art brats but i will save it for an article sometime


fuck it i will stop at aurels insted of goin home


i need girl on girl support


though i am too proud to say so

here’s a juicy DH Lawrence quote for ya:

‘Thou dark one, thou proud, curved beauty! I/ would worship thee, letting my buttocks prance’


or:

‘l Would so gladly lie In the womanly valley, and ply Thy twofold dance.’


the Women in Love book is vivid to the point of being lurid
its just atrocious
he uses the word LOINS literally 300 times


which of course will be my third screen in the aforementioned Women In Love Video Tryptych


just LOINS LOINS LOINS strobing in big block capitals


aurel knows about loins
her roof is nice


aurel knows about magazines
she has been in them a bunch recently!


look how much better her work is compared to every other piece on the page
not to be mean
but her work always makes other people’s works look shitty and half-assed


lucien in overalls and Michael B “stylin”


i liked Jack’s blurb:


he is not too big for his britches. they fit him well


ok ok i just dig myself deeper whever i talk about teens
maybe the rugby team just made me believe in hazing


we took a tequila pit stop


he was trying to look like that guy but i shoulda kept the camera horizontal


look how good this vegan stew looks


and the best chicken chilli rellenos ever! i love chile rellenos!


anus rellenos: who wants to sublet my old old apartment?
just kidding
we found someone already

after this we went to see UP and it was the last show and i was DELERIOUSLY EXCITED because as you know, i am an avid follower of children’s animated films but LO!


it was sold out
this is today
up early runnin errands


what is up wtih this


there were 5 demolished cars
was it a M.A.D.D. installation?


i bough canal street tshirts, dropped of a zine, picked up dry cleanin
bought travel sized toiletries!


i graduated high school in 1998
can you see the itti bitti type?
high tags with tiny words


does every girl think her man thing is just the handsomest man thing in the world?
is that a hormone or something?


pat got burnt yesterday at his job site


we were sposta get tanned in Venice together!
pat is always one step ahead

junesse

ah, a June of my jeunesse
will quickly fly by
especially after i get on a plane for Erp tomorrow


i have 119 photos since i last checked and that is too many for you
or me
or even pat so i will go fast


my hot little hand is at a new museum Rhizome benefit i mentioned in the last post


this is Dara Birnbaum one of the honorees, one of the first. her talk was great she said how blog culture and faceyspaces and twits are contributing to a lack of real engagement with the internet and its true!
you wouldnt read this if it were just two page essays on digital culture
heck, i wouldnt write this either!


but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do
this is xylor and tauba donations from the auction


we could see our old studio building from the roof


it was rainy


look at these sauces!
i love food when it borders on unappetizing because of aesthetic decisions


this was a performance we had to leave though


they have a mail order monsters elevator which im sure you already know


pat and i had a funeral to catch so we started drivin


5 hours later


we were in rural pennsylvania sleepin here


fitting for pervy pat


this is funeral pat. i wish he hadnt been to so many funerals in his life
this was my first one and i was glad he was there with me


lots of crying and comiserating and rituals to make people feel better that mostly worked


we went by Grandma’s house in Mine 40 one last time
when i was a kid in school other kids would tease me that my parents looked like grandparents (because they had me when they were 40 and 50 respectively) and that fact is not lost to me now, very painfully not lost on me


these were my granma’s parents
two people who look like they could put the fear of god in you


these!
i think this is my grandma’s aunt and uncle, the uncle who wouldnt come to america on the boat with the other russians because he had pink eye and had to ride the goat back to the village. but i dont quite remember that story very well, i only know that this painting/photo thing, whatever it is, is awesome


this photo of my cousin Trishy is awesome


billy always wore an Angels hat as a 4th grader


old things


newly old things


these are my grandpa’s bronzed coal mining boots
he was a miner who died of coal mining lung problems almost 40 years ago


one interesting thing i found out as her son, my uncle Tony, was giving the church service is that Grandma apparently had me and my brother secretly baptized against my parents wishes


this is my uncle when he was ordained; granma looks so proud of him!
she usually always sticks her tongue out in photos
i have about a hundred photos of her sticking her tongue out


this is the curtain pattern from my childhood kitchen that i remember distinctly because i found it so perplexing as a child


my grandma is the one on the left that looks so young and skinny and knobby teen awkward


this is Mine 40 where she spend most of her life


this is what it looked like when the mine was still open


i can’t even begin to pretend to imagine


again me being glad patrick is there with me


we stopped at a weird souvenir store


the long drive back


sleepy blues brother


drooly blues brother


i claim this photo as half mine at least
pat says otherwise


this is stuck in my head and i dont know what to do with it

more photos might help hold on one sec