Noblesse oblige

oh no no sleep and no visuals to come to my aid!

last night la princesse de meghan had une goodbye-from-deitch dinner at suzanne’s apartment

wait! this is what kitchen looks like:

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richard woods floor. how can u hate on a richard woods floor?
or risotto?

dinner was lovely but catscatscats i had to leave

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jorge and i sat talking so long we didnt even make it to fucking arons club in time to see the virgins we got there at the thank you and good night you know? everyone said it was great. someone tell me about it!

i took this picture totally thinking it was going to be awesome

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not awesome

the sound system in the basement of this place IS awesome though its full sternum-pounding amazing loud perfect.

i think that was the last picture i took? and the night had not even begun.

alex the overqualified intern has a very lovely apartment that accomodated many many monkeys. i vaguely remember expounding way too loudly on i think it was brideshead revisited? no. far from the maddening crowd? i have no idea. i had no idea at the time either! whatever and being totally boorish and annoying- sorry everyone! i also remember george’s very lovely purple shirt, and jasmine staying out almost as late as all of us up up late kids.

skipping quickly ahead…

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today has been merciful: jeffrey left for DC and nikki and i are splitting a chicken sandwich and comparing hangovers

guess what?

i win!

Visual ayuda

fuck i am being so boring! that last post was swoooo borrrringgg!!!!!

here are phots, in case anyone out there is as packed in cotton as i am and only able to scroll aimlessly through online phots

these have nothing to do with anything they are just all the phots in my photbucket thing that i havent posted, prolly cuz they are bad / obtuse? use discretion

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TAUB

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the TAUB herself in the rump tower

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me + DCnikki

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dartmouth matt!

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gents?

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when tepper and i went to the cloisters and she got all naturey (acorn battle!)

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my god its that hat again/ is this pre-2002?

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fussy fleuve fest in swisslandia

fuss!

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my only successful haloween costumes involve impersonating boys. i wonder what that means?

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photobucket deemed this Boucher pianting pornographic until i photoshopped the poodle in, then it was fine

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black bunn

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pleasegod let one of these magically appear in front of me this second!

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jd undies

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har har!

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yay!

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erf!

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cant remember if i posted this ever. i mean i hate cats i hate! but boy this is cute

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bleh!

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my brother the “organizer”

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i always end up at parties with just boys

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what is this doing here?

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plant face!

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?

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the most inappropriate appellation for a female was used by jules de balincourt w/r/t this lady

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i think this is a basel hangover

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this makes me shudder. everytime

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iheart rackin

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apartment emergency entry device

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this might be the definition of random

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hmmm.. or this. whoah! i jsut randomly remembered this kids name was “ashley”

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??

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hmmm

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dance!

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mmmmmore neon
neon does not play well with hangovers, i just noticed

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grant putting on nippled nude sleeve thing

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i dont know w hat this is a photo of.

lets end with that i mean really. you were warned. only if you were as zonked as me and only want to scroll scroll scroll and glazed over eyeingly move through phots will you have gotten anything outta this

Paint an inch thick

today is an art day. i got burned, kinda, snooping around myspace and realized that i might be the occasion for causing similar paint i mean pain to someone else. so, at least briefly, preferring discretion, here is some of today’s “art i had to deal with” instead of today’s “boys” “drugs” or “senseless gossip”

or better, “art i had the beautiful opportunity to deal with” today!

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here is another work by Dan Colen’s assistant Ben. this was sold, unfortunately, or it would be on its way to athens

my very overqualified and insanely quick-witted intern was less enthusiastic, finding this style a bit too JRR Tolkein. I see the diss, and countenance it, but choose to overlook it!

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this is the largest taylor painting on paper in the show. i love it, but maybe it is not right for the collection? i cant tell i mean i like everything he does. i need someone who only KINDA likes his work to help tell me what his BEST piece is…..

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this is eddie martinez, who is a frequent LOYAL magazine dude, and who shows at Zieher Smith. i remember chatting with either Zieher or Smith about him while in Switzerland but now i cant remember anything about him. i remember the word “self-taught” being bantered about but who really knows? not me

i like this piece a lot! but it is PRICEY and i dont know if its worth all the money…..

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this old christopher garrett is great. its my favourite piece by him. and if he ever deigned to talk to me again i would ask him for one

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nate lowman is there GUM on this piece??!??

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officially the first piece of art using the medium of “vitamin water”

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favourite

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secondfavourite

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thirdfavourite

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honourablemention

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the TAUB

the TAUB opens October 5. afterparty at 205 Chrystie w EFFI BRIEST its in the works.

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totally

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sorry this is so small its on the Zieher Smith site in their current show and i really liked it. who made this??

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this was on it too and pretty great!

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patrick made this screen print

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and i cant resist posting this. lets not call it “personal” lets call it a moving advertisement for ZINE CULTURE

ha ha ha

25 million reasons

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went home to DC this weekend because…. well i havent figured that out yet

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read this on the train… early 18thcentury porn!!! awesome

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my dad always wears this shirt when i visit. he thinks i am thoroughly diverted by it.

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mom NOT diverted by me taking pictures

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so i let her take a picture of me
which is GREAT because now i have learned its time to cut my hair

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somewhere in this pile of junk in the garadge is a piece of art i made in college. can u find the art?

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took my dad to the shakespeare theatre to see a Henrik Ibsen play called ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE it was excellent! this is what it looked like when performed at the turn of the last century

speaking of vintage looking, tracy nakayama sent me some flicks of new work
are any of these good for the works on paper collection?

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i think the yoko ono one is hte best, no?

kate’s blog about rhyming made me wanna memorize a poem. wanna hear it?
and please feel free to make me recite it when you see me…

Andrew Marvel’s “To His Coy Mistress”
mid-seventeenth century right?

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, Lady, were no crime
We would sit down and think which way
To walk and pass our long love’s day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood,
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, Lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song: then worms shall try
That long preserved virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust:
The grave ‘s a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may,
And now, like amorous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour
Than languish in his slow-chapt power.
Let us roll all our strength and all
Our sweetness up into one ball,
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life:
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

——
thats the best euphemism ever right?
“Let us sport us while we may!”

speaking of: here are some flicks eli sent me from his amazing A.V.A.F. exhibition in Sao Paulo at Casa Triangulo:

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tres phillipe bradshaw, no?
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and here are the two new wallpapers:
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we just had a meeting with jeffrey, his assistants, boyfriend, etc
i am so deleriously sick that i dont remember shit
i know we are doing HUGE AVAF show at 18 wooster next may!

about the sick: my mom made me go visit/condole with sick brother Billy and bring him a roast chicken
i insisted that i would see billy some other time when he was not deathly ill
she of course trumped my insisting with her own insisting, and first thing i did when i returned to NYC tuesday was get DEATHLY ILL
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thanks mom!

Dan COlen interview/article going extremely well, albeit slowly
next post, malady willing, will be the complete animal!
all ive worked out so far are the images ill use to illustratum it

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NO ME opens at Javier Peres’ berlin gallery on September 30! anyone remotely near berlin must go!!!

and

i found this profoundly sad…. for a million reasons… but mostly all of them

DALLAS – Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens denied a police report that he attempted suicide, saying he became groggy after mixing painkillers with supplements.

As if to prove he’s doing fine, Owens went from the hospital to catching passes from quarterback Drew Bledsoe within two hours, then proclaimed himself “very capable of going out there and playing on Sunday” despite whatever happened Tuesday night and a broken right hand.

Owens said Wednesday the confusion likely stemmed from an empty bottle of pain medication found by his publicist, who was with him at the time and called 911. He said the rest of the pills were in a drawer.

“I was non-responsive when she made that call,” Owens said. Appearing in a news conference at team headquarters a few hours after leaving a hospital for what a police report described as “a drug overdose,” Owens wore workout gear and no bandage on his right hand. The star receiver smiled and seemed more amused than peeved at the latest ruckus surrounding him.

Owens, 32, blamed a combination of hydrocodone, a generic form of Vicodin, with all-natural supplements for making him ill.

Rescue workers arrived at Owens’ home around 8 p.m. Tuesday and took him to an emergency room. When word spread, publicist Kim Etheredge said it was an allergic reaction.

But the story shifted Wednesday morning when several media outlets received a police report that had yet to be released by the authorities saying Owens had attempted suicide by overdosing on the painkillers, even putting two more pills into his mouth after an unidentified friend, later identified as Etheredge, intervened.

The police document, first reported by WFAA-TV, said Owens was asked by rescue workers “if he was attempting to harm himself, at which time (he) stated: ‘Yes.'”

When officially released by police, about half the document was blacked out, including the phrases “attempting suicide by prescription pain medication” and “a drug overdose,” as well as the details of Owens having two pills pried from his mouth and Owens saying “Yes” when asked if he intended to harm himself.

“I was kind of out of it,” Owens said. “I can barely even remember the doctors, much less the police officers asking me questions.”

Owens also said that he’s “not depressed about anything” and that he should practice Thursday.

Etheredge also appeared at Owens’ news conference, saying she “did not take anything out of his mouth” and that it was unfair for anyone to think Owens would kill himself.

“Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive,” she said, referring to the $25 million, three-year contract he signed in March with the Cowboys.

wait did i read that right???

“Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive,” she said, referring to the $25 million, three-year contract he signed in March with the Cowboys.

Pounds down

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life is confusing

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mr darcy is my only terra firma

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i just sold this drawing this morning
look at this confused bumbling damaged dude
Gerald Davis, quite a drawer

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nikki sold this this morning
oh wait no this is the one on hold for Tehran. can you picture this being hung in Tehran?? bo-nanas
Raquib Shaw, quite a pervy swizzler

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tomoo gokita show at ATM is awesome
the asian kippenberger??? you heard it here first

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and this was in my purse
horay!
i miss the hypnogoogia- fun for the whole family

also: should i get involved with a Miami Basel event where artists make huge blimps to carry down the beach? sponsored by Scion and the art fair itself? Ben Jones and Ara Peterson are involved, so it must be awesome right?

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check out his mock-up! holy beach blimp!

If this post were a show it would be called “eww”

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today has been weird

i just got a mat brinkman piece i bought from gallerie loyal in … denmark? somewhere

sometimes my art day is the worst curated eight hours ever. like instead of a nice procession of related and exciting pieces, i am forced to deal with pay attention to or otherwise view art that individually may be ok, but when grouped with the other day’s events is a rank combination of weird.

for example: trivia question for the day, guess who made this 20″ panel painting called “ceramics” part of an exhibition that opened last night?

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here is une hint: he split a zine with this fellow

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matt brought this by yesterday

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this is adam mcewans glowindark gum painting i had tried to phot last week (thanks carolyn!)

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and this is the weirdest of the c garretts, i think

have i used the word weird enough yet in this blog?

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if not: please note this weird drawing i made when i was seven

who will be the next master?

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so much in the last few days. september! so much!~ and for most of the days i took no phots or had no batteries for phots
…..

last wednesday was my birthday. i am now 26. and trying desperately to mature into that age. so far, failing miserably. wednesday was low and gentle, me the bunn and many huge white vikings….

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see how peaceful?

thursday was i forget oh! warhol fancy dinner. with nicelle. mugrabis and brants. enjoyed the head of the warhol foundation, josh, a great deal. ate fancy food. etc. oops i just spilled tea all over my cell phone hold on

ok its fine

um then a-ron opened his 205 chrystie club with a big, lawless mess. it was great

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a-ron flanked by attractive females

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this is molly right? molly has about as many doppelgangers as dash…

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fie ryan left his bower, and shaved his beard!

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this guy! javier appearing for three days was great. i think properties were acquired here but i think im not allowed to tell…..

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grabby hands

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dont remember this being taken

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a yao in the picture

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some of the best art shows get planned at night (oops was i supposed not to tell that either?)

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after precious little sleep, dash and i drove the next morning to providence RI to see the historic Fort Thunder show at the RISD museum. a SHITload of other people did too, as you can see

mental note: do not stay out all night when you have to drive 9hours the next day with a needy needy infant. wait thats not quite fair, i was also a helpless monkey. we were both a pathetic pathetic team. but we did it! and dash had to shoot the Paper Rad who are never all three Rads in the same place at the same time except THIS DAY and wait so he is shooting them for the cover of this magazine and its epic. my favourite artist shooting my favourite artists for my favourite magazine?? soooo worth the brutal torture getting me, him, there, and back

but more on that later

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the show was called WUNDERGROUND which initially bugged the shit outta me but maybe its not the worst show title ever? maybe?

one enormous gallery was filled with equally scaled up sculpture

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hoo hoo! check out this dude. a 20ft tall mat brinkman monster!

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jimmy drains piece was sooooo radddd he took a old real northwest indian totem pole from the RISDpermanent and build this amazing stand thingie for it

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and some sculpturelets

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chippendale silkscreenhut. there were lots of sculptures you could walk into, stick your head in, etc but everyones breath smelled like red bull so i unfortunately declined to enter many. sorry!
this one was great tho

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new brian c zines

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this was in one of them….. this is sorta when i get annoyed and turned off by the politics of this group or whatever, or maybe i should just say this guy, but i think its not just him- where it gets sorta dumb and heavyhanded kinda? i know im not supposed to say this, but its just i’m trying to find that line or turning point or whatever where i go from being really really psyched on the political stuff to being really turned off? its hard to pinpoint but like when i go from hellyeah! to didacticBOO!…

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this one i cant help but like

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the other room was ALL SILKSCREEN ALL THE TIME a treasure trove of old rockshow posters n artthingies made by fort people

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huge!

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junghil

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C.F.

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i dont know who made this one maybe the mystery B?

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this looks like that dude Zara Thustra made it but that cant be right…

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photo shoot time!

i wanted to repost this photo just cuz its so awesome how when you have photos of the loudest neon kids and hit “autolevels” their gear throws the program into the wildest fit of inaccuracy… awesome!

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paperradtotempole

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claustrophobic subaru shots

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the next morning this came in the mail for my birthday!

isn’t patrick the cutest little oversized baby when he sleeps??

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the first the second thing we did was go gallerygoing
adam mcEwan has glow in the dark gum paintings as part of this show at nicole klagsbrun

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this again but better phots.

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whee!

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taylors weird wilted derelectpalette also is good at throwin off the autolevels

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this show we did not go see cuz it was in CHICAGO all chicagoons go to kavi gupta! chirs johanson and christopher garrett!

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bananas

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wtf???

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instalshot

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c garrett is SOOOOO WEIRD have i mentioned that before?

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SOOO WEEEEIIIRDDDDDDDD

saturday was big birthday dinner at Frank with ShaunBrianKeeganTaubaPatrickYasmineHerboyfriendTerrenceGarrickAurelandNikki then more A-Ron club then more dash house
sunday was recovering movie couch day watching Lost Boys and Beauty and the Beast i wish i was kidding about this
monday was broke walking around then sushi then more A-Rons club and more dash’s house (pattern developing??)
tuesday is patrick left this 5am which of course we just stayed up for, then i went to work and to aurel’s studio with the Simchowitz and then trump tauers with tauba where i very adeptly dropped and broke my camera……..
sigh
and then here to meet iranian girl to sell Raquib Shaws.

which all of course still leaves the question: WHO WILL BE THE NEXT MASTER?

the longest dog

phoo!
the longest day
in the artworld
was all of last week

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nikki and i left deitch to throw ourselves at the mercy of the artopening extravaganza

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boring people everywhere YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

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in the back room is the elusive erik parker drawing i am still trying to buy: someone tell me what to do i cant stand this limbo!

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found this diamond dust dog in another back room

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this guy lurking on the UGLIST COLOR GREEN WALL ever to grace an art gallery. go taylor! gross!!!

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this is like the Trunk of Humours poster dude minus the collander: dude keep your collander on! gross!!

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ok im sure taylor gets sick of his most frequent artreview consisting of “gross!” so here are two dudes im trying to buy for athens. awesome! the drips!

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everything else in chelsea bored me, nikki, vito, and stefan to death! thank god for the d snow. or not god, maybe satan?

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the bombyknocker revisited. it’s a flail! a flail dash it’s called a FLAIL

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the book pile turned into a bookfort! voila! part unabomber part waldenpond? let’s let Artforum mull it over

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this is the best thing. um dash did i mention tomorrow is my birthday???

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nikki and kazumi debating the nuance of dash’s “act of war / high school pregnancy”

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and for the first and last time, dashiell is selling original ‘roids. for really reals? it’s true
all the rest of the amazing show you musst go see in person E2street, rivington armses

so that day turned rapidly into a long night. ever been to mars bar afterhours with all the gates down before? sinister
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nightbunn

the next thing i remember was:

ART PARADE 2006

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gimmea D

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gimme avenue D

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setting up was confusing. look at this pack of fucking jokers! just kidding. it’s cool to cover yourself in body paint and glitter and stuff.

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?

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jasmine was handling her shit

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i, on the other hand, had these dudes to handle. anyone remember SOYBOMB??

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toilet bikes / poo poo platter

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??

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???

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the zombies were fun

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but made a mess of the sidewalk

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is this momoyo? what a nut!

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andrea was in charge of that one

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it’s going to chase her down n smooch her!

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pia’s thing ruled. queen album poster??

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close-up for any male readers of blog

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is this patrick’s friend who made the mini truck?

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mattress band

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unknown weird

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obligatory hooping

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fischerspooner

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blockparty after, jesse making fun of passersby with espo

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who do you think you are some kind of COOL GUY

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bec’s ass

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Mr. Snow senior bought a new hat

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bunny came as a kitty?

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terrence bunn and i escaped to eat thai food and go to some nike / ryan mcginley / shoplifter weird totally incoherent randomness. w/ open bar.

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kazumi lost in the hair

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kazumi much later that night lost at someone else’s reserved table

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this guy AGAIN??? just can’t get enough HOOPIN’

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yesterday was some confusing Michel Gondry private view that was supposed to be celeb fest. all i saw were Jack Black (not White, which would have made sense, right?) and then Mary Kate Olsen come in on the arm of the yougest Snow heir. tres weird

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learning later about other pepople with insane coffee tables. (mine is worse? i think worse.)

and finally, i learned about some rad new art

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dan colen’s assistant ben makes RAD things like the above

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and aurel made this fucking KILLER 6ft masterpiece drawing wait here is a detail

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terrence just emailed me this as a nice bookend to the longest day of the artyear. what was that movie called? trading places?

wait did i cover everything???

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or did i leave my ass hanging out???

artworld artfit

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Gondry opened last night with lines wrapping around the block. everyone loved it. imagine 500 people waiting in line for 2hours to see an art show, adn the art show being so RAD that they leave totally psyched about the whole experience. i love it! so did Michel.

today is the artfit the armageddon art opening extravagaaaanza day. i wont even begin to recommend where to go, but if you are so inclined you can find Dash at Rivington Arms, Aaron Young at Harris Lieberman, Adam McEwan at Nicole’s, Taylor McKimens at Clementine, Gerald Davis at the John Con, Matt Jones at Bui, and literally literally 200+ other things. those are just the shows that made the shortlist.

the man that made my shortlist is above, the back from berlin bad bad bunny!

superserviceable

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last night i interviewed dan colen for aron’s new book magazine magabook bookazine whatever. it was awesome! i was… nervous to say the least, but theres nothing a lot of whiskey won’t fix. look for in in the next few weeks!!!

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these are random dan studio phots. he just sent 4 more boulders to berlin! awesome

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this opens tonight! as in in 3hours or so
“this” is Michel Gondry show. horay! its actualy great. come over i will smuggle you some champagne upstairs.

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i fucking love Qbert floors

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that says MANDRAKE (mandragora officinarm)
and did you know if you pulled a mandrake(whose root looks like a forked human torso) out of the ground, it screams like a man? it also makes you go crazy.
says shakespeare.
they have one up at the cloisters if anyone is interested

speaking of: this is the passage that i got both the title (stifled in the vault) and the critical approach (madly playing with forefather’s joints) for my andy warhol essay. it also mentions mandrakes:

What if it be a poison, which the friar
Subtly hath minister’d to have me dead,
Lest in this marriage he should be dishonour’d,
Because he married me before to Romeo?
I fear it is: and yet, methinks, it should not,
For he hath still been tried a holy man.
How if, when I am laid into the tomb,
I wake before the time that Romeo
Come to redeem me? there’s a fearful point!
Shall I not, then, be stifled in the vault,
To whose foul mouth no healthsome air breathes in,
And there die strangled ere my Romeo comes?
Or, if I live, is it not very like,
The horrible conceit of death and night,
Together with the terror of the place,–
As in a vault, an ancient receptacle,
Where, for these many hundred years, the bones
Of all my buried ancestors are packed:
Where bloody Tybalt, yet but green in earth,
Lies festering in his shroud; where, as they say,
At some hours in the night spirits resort;–
Alack, alack, is it not like that I,
So early waking, what with loathsome smells,
And shrieks like mandrakes’ torn out of the earth,
That living mortals, hearing them, run mad:–
O, if I wake, shall I not be distraught,
Environed with all these hideous fears?
And madly play with my forefather’s joints?
And pluck the mangled Tybalt from his shroud?
And, in this rage, with some great kinsman’s bone,
As with a club, dash out my desperate brains?
O, look! methinks I see my cousin’s ghost
Seeking out Romeo, that did spit his body
Upon a rapier’s point: stay, Tybalt, stay!
Romeo, I come! this do I drink to thee.

and:
the title of this post is part of the scene where kent is insulting whoever goneril’s page dude was called. osric? no thats hamlet wait OSWALD. it’s part of the best collection of inspired insulting that ever was written! in this one bit he goes “Thou whoreson zed, thou unecessary letter!” which is essially going “you letter Z! you superflous part of the alphabet!”

i mean, ?????

and:

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we still need someone to carry ESPO’s inflatalimo, someone to dress up like a huge fat ballerina thing, someone to wear a balloon costume, etc etc. matt siegle is going to be a huge Ted Mineo eyeball!!!! horay!

thats it. sorry this blog is such a pile. this is what i have to work with tho:

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fick!