swan song

December 7th, 2009

i dont wanna do this blog anymore

at least not on myspace and not the way i have been doing it
give me a second to fix things around and we will start a new life together somewhere else i promise
until then hang out with me in the everglades and get a million mosquito bites
this is where i ate lunch and where i was eaten
very hamlet of me
i ran with a cloud of mosquitos chasing me and three of them managed to get into the car with me!
the everglades are a dangerous and unfriendly place
the buzzards know this
this buzzard was eating the snake in the above photo
life and death in harsh conditions
is the world really this unrelenting and cruel?
sorry im feeling philosophical at the moment
philosophy being the only consolation sometimes
the philosophy of the everglades is not terrbly uplifting at teh moment though
if i could only rise above the muck
if only i were an eagret perched on a dwarf cypress
i guess i am about as tall as a dwarf cypress. maybe i just need a bird hat. rosson! one bird hat please
sigh
odd
this guy started crawling up the wall after me i shit you not
so i took a picture and ran away
the walls are not very tall
the walls that seperate normal life from horrible painful morass of shit are not very tall
stay on the path stay on the path
a hunter alone in the wilderness
swamp and glade
i guess glade makes it sound so much better
i dont really have any more philosophy to offer
i could use some
i gotta get out of this swamp
before the buzzards pick my carcass
i have strayed way off the map
my best days are behind me
maybe nothing a free breakfast wont fix
reading about death under a rainbow
burning the shit out of my hide
after me, the deluge
everything seems broken
boy ok enough commentary from me
i went to the botanical gardens to kill more time before my flight
it was totally sucky except for the 200 lizards crawling around everywhere!

i chased lizards for 3 hours
i must have caught about 4 or 5 but they wriggled out of my hand each time
i was too afraid to crush them so they wriggled out
is there a metaphor in there?
or just that people called me “Lenny” after my big growth spurt as a kid?
mice and men
how about just mice men
“of mice men and bodacious babes they are too pathetic for”
ok ok im getting away with myself
as these lizards did from me
sigh!
i just wanted to feel some life in my hands for a sec is that so awful?
airport bars
airport scenes
home to what is that behind the lobby art?
oh no
walking to work in the blaring morning light with a sunburn and freezing
finding a copy of this on my desk
oh brother look at me an nikki!

given what is going on in my life this is like the pinnacle of insult and irony
where reality idealism and perception meet and explode in my face
i hate irony
whatever happened to sincerity?

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